I read in the Bible the other day that if your spouse commits adultery and and the betrayed spouse sleeps with them afterwards, you have forgiven them and Biblicaly cannot seek divorce. You may seek divorce prior to sex though and not be going against gods law.

Interesting.....I never knew that.

Huh? Where did you read that?

Okay! I am dying now. Can I get a verse? This is one of those I have to see it for myself.

I've never heard of this text either. II Epiphanies of Hezekiah 18:6, 7, perhaps?

t&l

I, too, would be interested in the chapter/verse and translation of Bible you're using.

Some states view sexual relations between the betrayed and wayward spouses as "forgiveness" and invalidates a claim of divorce on grounds of infidelity.

I don't believe the Bible holds to this position, however.

Perhaps your translation is a bit confusing on this point.

Perhaps it was a commentary on Hosea?

God told Hosea to marry a prostitute as a symbol of Israel's unfaithfulness to God.

She had children with Hosea and left to go back to her prostitution.

God told Hosea to buy her back out of slavery and he did and made her his wife again (forgiven?).

I can't even remotely think of another place this would show up in the Bible.

It will be interesting to get the actual Scripture reference StartinOver is referring to, but this is equally interesting. There is no book of Hezekiah in the Bible, so perhaps you are referring to a commentary or something else?

it's not true. A search for the word "divorce" on netbible.org turns up no such passage. there are only two instances where a man cannot ever DIVORCE a woman, both from deuteronomy 22

1. the case where he rapes her, and then they are forced to marry and he may never divorce her

2. the odd situation of a man marying a woman, having sex with her, then FALSELY divorcing her because "she wasnt a virgin when I married her".


On the flip side, there is a case where a man cannot REMARRY a woman: that is when he has divorced a woman, and then she remarries, and that second marriage ends.
(Deut 24)

I agree that the Bible never states anything like what StartinOver is saying.

I was speculating that perhaps it was part of a commentary on Hosea written by someone else. Or perhaps a speculation about a Purtian Law from early American or English history that was based on a poor translation or mis-interpretation.

Either that, or a nontraditional translation that has taken great liberties with the original text.

Remember, the word "divorce" might not be used specifically. In many translations, the words "to put her away" is used instead of "divorce".

Sorry yall.....I was away since yesterday. I will find the verse and post it. Give me a lil bit, but I will locate it.


Im back.....tried to find it in my devotional bible, but I can t seem to locate the scripture. I have my King James bible at home next to my bed.....I will locate the passage this weekend and post it. I read the bible before I go to sleep sometimes (havent done a great job of it recently)....but I even read this scripture to my wife aloud. I know I wasnt seeing things.....anyhow, I hope I underlined it.

You're wasting your time - there is no such verse.

Regards,
rs0522

There is no direct scripture which says this but consider the following principals. Remember the background is that marriage according to the Bible is the uniting of 2 separate persons into 1 marriage union making a family. Adultery breaks that marriage union (or bond). Forgiveness allows the marriage union to come together again.:

1. 1Cor 7:2-7: But usually it is best to be married, each man having his own wife and each woman having her own husband, because otherwise you might fall back into sin.

The man should give his wife all that is her right as a married woman, and the wife should do the same for her husband. For a girl who marries no longer has full right to her own body, for her husband then has his rights to it, too: and in the same way the husband no longer has full right to his own body, for it belongs also to his wife.

So do not refuse these rights to each other. The only exception to this rule would be the agreement of both husband and wife to refrain from the rights of marriage for a limited time, so that they can give themselves more completely to prayer. Afterwards, they should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt them because of their lack of self-control.


I am saying you must marry, but you certainly may if you wish........God does give some the gift of a husband or wife......

2. The above scripture is taken from the Living Bible translation. You can read similar content in other translations. It is recommended you read the entire chapter to get the full picture of this discussion. In this scripture and as supported by others, gives principles not commands on God's views of marriage.

Adultery itself is sin not just against God's arrangement but also against the faithful spouse. Forgiveness for adultery comes in 2 stages. From the spouse 1st, then God.

Why in that order? Think about it, the scripture shows that upon marriage, the person no longer 'owns' themselves but in a loving way they have given themselves over to their marraige mate. This is a bigger step than some realize and it does involve the sexual aspect of the marriage arrangement. The vows taken before God and all witnesses is a declaration of vows made between a H & W.

While God created the marriage arrrangement, the union and vows taken between a H & W are sacred to God and should be to us. That's where the problem lies. The WS and sometimes even some BS' forget the importance of the marriage arrangement. One can't just turn on and off being married, no more than having a PA, then being married is an acceptable thing. It isn't. Take a look at all the BS' whose WS' are flaunting the A in their eyes.

The WS tries to get the BS to take them back often using a tool like the desire for sex with their BS as a way to hold onto a M while having an A.

It is important the BS knows that once a WS has broken their M relationship, the BS now has the scriptural right to end the M. It is not a revloving door policy. When a BS continually takes a WS back (via sex, etc.), the importance of the M and the scaredness of it is lost. No longer are the bonds of love, loyalty, faithfulness and the fruitages of the spirit (joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, mildness & self-control) hold true.

Principals, not rules govern this matter. I had it explained to me as well. As empowering as it was to know that scripturally I had the grounds for the D (upon d/d), I realized my actions (D or take back H as a full H), also made me responsible for my decision. Taking my H back by having sex with him, allowing him to move back into the home, etc...... meant I was willing to be married to him.

This was not an easy decision. I have many moments of regret. The time of turmoil was hard for me and because of my moments of indecision, there were false recoveries.

I stress the importance of knowing one's self, identifying and implementing your bondaries (whether you want recovery or not). My WS gave me several reasons for D over the years of his A. The weight of responsibilty for a good marriage depends on both the H & W and the recovery of a M depends on both the H & W but the WS bears most of the responsibilty to fix the M after the BS has done a good plan A.

JMHO,
L.

Are you willing to stake your life on that??? I know I didnt make it up......like I said, I read it to my wife. I dont even remember the passage, that is what is frustrating to me right now. I will try and locate it over the weekend. If I cant find it....Oh well, I apologize. My fault for not highlighting it. The Bible is filled with passages that never get quoted.

We see this over and over again on the board where a BS has this revolving door policy and not only does it further lessen the chances of the recovery of the marriage it prolongs/prevents any healing of the BS and family or growth/ possible wake up call for the WS. It's like getting stuck in limbo ****** for all concerned.

I really liked the rest of your post as well Orchid, and if you do take them back in all sincerity and they do not do their part after giving it enough time then you may have to end the marriage...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> odd comment to make on a Biblical discussion!

are YOU saying YOU are staking YOUR LIFE on your first post???

weird!

Pep

I would have to disagree with that one, Orchid.
God forgives those whom he chooses to forgive. His will and forgiveness is not contingent on the spouse. Some BS's may choose never to forgive, even when the WS is truely repentant. In that case, I believe that the BS is not following God's desires for the marriage. That is certainly the free-will choice of the BS to make. But I dont see anything biblical, either directly or even indirectly, that says that God's forgiveness of the WS is contingent on the BS.

The only ones given the power to bind someone's own sins upon them, were Jesus's apostles.

If you take the closest parallel in the marriage, of the husband specifically having "headship" over his wife... even that, is more of a caretaker's role. He is charged with taking care of, and leading his wife. However, he does not "own" or control her soul. He does not have the power to deny God's forgiveness to her, if she truely seeks it.

Ooops, sorry......a figure of speach, I didnt mean it literally. I read the bible quite a bit, and a person can go online and look up scriptures about any subject such as adultery......a person is only sent to a handful of scriptures on the subject. There are alot more scriptures throughout the bible....or should I say sentences that never get mentioned. I promise you......unless I had a dream or something, I read that scripture.

*phew*

thanks ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

There is no book of Hezekiah anywhere in any version of the Bible, any commentary, or anything else whatsoever--and that includes his Epiphanies. I was wondering if it was one of those mythical texts that get brought up every now and again in Bible-related conversations, and so conjured up my own mythic book in which it might have been found. (It's not so funny now that I've had to explain it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />) Conversely, it's possible that it is a genuine text that was simply misunderstood.

t&l

I suppose that could be possible......but the sentence was very straight forward and clear.

I just ate lunch with my wife, and I asked her if she remembered when I read a scripture to her a few weeks ago.....the first thing that came out of her mouth was...."you mean the scripture about adultery".

At least now I know I wasnt dreaming......I will try my best to locate it for those concerned.

God Bless! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />