Post deleted by mimi1254

hmmmmmm......looks like you want to *win* LOL!! :raspberry:

I know you guys have taken a little heat from folks about the way y'all relate to eachother. I never felt that there was anything "going on" LOL....but something happened a while back <to me> that I wanted to share.

For years I posted to someone on EN. I made a great investment in trying to help him and his low self esteem issues. There was nothing except a posting relationship....but it went on a long time. Sometimes I prodded him, sometimes I praised him along with many other posters who followed his progress. At some point....he started rejecting my advice and distancing himself...even posted harshly to me at times.

One day he posted to me and told me that he'd realized something important. He realized that I was the only one on MB who had an actual "account" in his "bank". I was no longer "any" poster.....which meant of course....no more posting. All of this occurred directly on the board....and I'm glad it did....it was a good thing.

I think you and GG *may* be too "invested" to be subjective any longer in your discourses. That doesn't mean I think anything is going on....but it does mean that you each may take eachother's posts too personally. KWIM? You both care too much about what the other thinks about you. You became his lifeline mimi....and you might have even "opened an account" without even trying or wanting to.

Something to think about. As always....I could be wrong.

Good luck with that, Star*Fish - it's the same point a couple of people tried to make several months back with no success.

Requiring a special "hello" greeting in FGG's posts was the first step in the wrong direction.

Of course!!

Seriously, I was thinking along the same lines as you during lunch.

I'm not as invested in this as it may seem so I certainly can let this go..and was planning to....even before you mentioned this...

THANKS, though, STAR....

Morgaine:

Your response about the special greeting was FAIR.

However, I was JOKING..at least, I think I was....

This has really gone far off course FOR ME at least...

ONWARD!!!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Boy...go for a Chik-Fil-A sandwich and look what happens!!

First...what does KWIM mean?

Well...taking a cue from star* here, maybe this isn't an argument that I should be making. I don't know if anyone else wishes to take up that gauntlet or not...

I don't wish to PROVE my point (I don't have to win).

I guess I was trying to distinguish the continuum (how about that word, 2Long?) between one extreme of "Conflict Avoider" and the opposite extreme of "I'm going to win this thing at all costs".

There has to be a middle ground...growing through our conflicts and making them a healthy part of our relationship.

I want to be sensitive to star*'s accusation.

Therefore, I will not accept the challenge to a duel..sorry.

KWIM = Know what I mean?

GG,

Haven't been involved in your thread but have followed it and I would like to offer something that is beginning to help me in my new R in relation to communication...

On the website 2long often refers to there is an article called "Co-creative Communication" that is helping me in this area.

Probably many more good articles out there as well but this one is easy to get to and to understand.

I saw Ark post something very helpful the other day regarding this type of communciation but I'll be danged if I can remember where, and I didn't copy it.

GG....I hope none of that came off as an "accusation"....because I sure don't feel that way. I mention it now because the timing is so perfect. In the past, you came to depend on mimi quite a bit. And she was there for you. There's nothing wrong with that....it's what we do for each other here. But when "uniqueness" or "specialness" creeps into a posting relationship the boundaries expand....then it becomes too personal to do the most good and can interfere with real life. That interference can be as innocent as feeling crummy when the other person criticizes or disagrees with you.

I say the timing is perfect, because you've found love, reaffirmation and confidence in your own life....it's naturally a good time to reprioritize and add clarity.....know what I mean (KWIM)?

star*fish....

It wasn't taken as an accusation.

Thank you for taking what has been an obvious considerable amount of time in posting to me. If I don't respond immediately, please don't taken offense. I often, really often, have to "contemplate" awhile the things said to me if I disagree with them but feel some degree of merit in what has been said.

Deal?