Hello Everyone, hope you are all well today.

I don't post on here often but lurk regularly. I remain sad that we are all here but are thankful for all the guidance everyone provides.

Here's what's just happened to me and I am a little confused by it.

For those of you who don't know, WXH had an affair and moved in with his mistress last October after knowing her for only 6 weeks. We'd been together 30 years. He lives 200 miles away with her and her 2 young children.

Since he moved out both myself and the children have been in plan B, no one has seen him more or less since he left.We are now divorced and the family as a whole are doing very well without him.

My daughter had a baby 4 weeks ago and my sons girlfriend gave birth 2 weeks ago, both of my grandchildren are the most beautiful precious gifts.

We have heard stories recently that WH is very upset about his lack of contact with his children and he blames me for this( it's not me by the way, the kids hate him, he wasn't a very good father).

Here's the thing, ex pulls up outside my daughters the other day, he must have realised I was there because my car was outside and he did not come to the door. Surely he must have known he was not going to be welcomed with open arms.

Shortly after this WXH's sister phones my daughter to ask if the baby had been born and my daughter refused to give any info. The day after this my son got a text from WXH begging him to be told if everyone was alright(son did not reply).

I think I'm just annoyed that WXH thinks he can turn up in our lives anytime he sees fit. He has been a pig throughout the divorce and settlement process, wanting me to get as little as possible and the kids have seen all of this.

We have made a good life without him, why has he not moved on enough to know his life with us is over.

Sorry this is long, think I'm just journalling really but thanks for taking the time to read it.

Have a good day all.

Miffy 1

I think the wayward have no sense of time. Perhaps for him, it's just like he left yesterday. My STBXH seems to think the Earth stands still when he's not around. After not seeing DD for months, he still doesn't realize that she's turning into a young woman.

They just don't get it.

I bet everything is not rosy in Affairland.

Thanks for that grapegirl.

I, like you, think it can't be going well between the two of them or why would he need us now.

Even though we've moved on it still would be nice to know the fantasy is dying but it's a shame they miss out on so much with their kids. Oh well it's their loss.

Take care
Miffy 1

be careful

if he "shows up" unannounced

be sure you are never alone with him

he sounds desperate

Pep

Pepperband,

My WXH has no idea where I live now, I managed to buy a house with the help of ODS so I know I'll never face him alone.

I agree he must be desperate because he knows how badly my daughter hates him.

Guess we weren't so bad after all.

Miffy 1