My question is, HOW do we rekindle the love that we once had? How do we find that spark again? How do we ease the awkward feelings that we have when we are together now? Any suggestions? Im not looking for anyone to analyze our relationship as it wouldnt be appropriate without all of the important details that I dont feel like typing out right now.
Nope. No suggestions. It would be inappropriate to "shoot" without seeing a "target" first.
You state you have a problem with "anger." I don't think so. You seem to have a problem with "control." Anger is just one way in which you choose to manifest that control.
The concept of marriage embraces
submission to each other. What good is the EN questionairre when someone has little intention of doing what is in the interest of the spouse unless it's to "get" something in return?
Perhaps when you "feel up to" posting some real details we may be able to offer some real suggestions. By the way, do you also NOT tell your IC what's really going on, just doling out the info about your relationship, when, and if, you "feel like it?"
Hiding behind issues like "I have an anger problem" is trying to treat the symptom, not the underlying disease. Sort of like taking cough medicine to treat a cough caused by lung cancer.
Last bit of "suggestion" to consider. All IC does is work on the INDIVIDUAL. While that might be needed, it does NOT work on the individual (one flesh) of marriage. IF you both want to try to save your marriage, you both need to be in joint Marriage Counseling (no secrets from each other, but all in the open as a couple, not as an individual with "my" and "your" problems). They are "OUR" problems.
Good luck!