Is it weird? I found out about my W's affair very soon after it started and I ended it for her a few weeks later. I was pretty good at snooping and I know what she did and when she did it. I remember every detail. I hope one day the memory of these details fade. Anyway... I know what clothes she wore when she was with the SOB, I threw all of them in the trash. Every time she wore one of those outfits, it threw me into depression again, so I got ride of them. Weird?<BR>

Not at all! I found out that he had had her in the office I helped him build up and I made him take me there and do what he did to her with me in the exact place, Pretty twisted huh? We all do some crazy things when we first find out and I think this is part of the healing process. I thought I could wipe out the memories of her being there with him, it had bummed me out because I was the one who put his whole office together and then he did it with her there. I think it was a little bit of revenge and a little bit of healing and removing old wounds. I know some people would feel this is freaky but whatever it takes to heal the wound is something we must all go through! I guess I am a little more twisted than some, huh? God Bless!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<BR>

by the way, there are some days I want to "crow" about this to her, how sick is that???<P>------------------<BR>Chick's<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<BR>

My W still hasn't admitted to the affair being sexual. I may have been born on a Tuesday, but it wasn't last Tuesday. I know they did it at work (they work together). Since discovery we've done it all over that place. I think it does help to heal. I make her go out with me to their "spots". People at these places thought she and the OM were a couple and it helps me to set them straight. She's MY WIFE, not his.<BR>

Thanks, saying that makes me feel better, less sick inside! LOL! Either way, it's helped us get through things because now when he looks at his office every day he's seeing me with him and not her! !<P>------------------<BR>Chick's<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<BR>

Chicks - you're not strange - I even want to trade CARS because she SAT (oh my stars, I hope that's all!) in it. Now that's strange!!!<P>Hang in there.<P>Lori

Not weird at all. I have had many bonfires.<BR>My H had his truck professionally cleaned because I told him that I wanted it disinfected after she had been in it!!!<p>[This message has been edited by wasstubborn (edited October 05, 1999).]

HBD,<BR>Nothing is weird, strange or stupid if it helps.<BR>After my H was gone one day, and he came back wanting to start recovery, I made him shower before he touched me, I made him sell his car that she (it) had ridden in, we had our wedding rings cleaned and buffed to take away all the tarnish and marks of the period, I too cut up and threw away a shirt that he had on the day he was gone, I re-aranged the furnature so it wouldn't be the same as when he sat in that one spot and talked to me about it. Nothing can take it away completely, but it helps the triggers from being so loud. The biggest help was taking the OW out of my brain, putting good thoughts there to replace her, HE has done this, but it is hard for US to let go. I do this by picturing us together or seeing our Son or Daughters faces, or picturing us holding each other. It takes Time.<BR>Almost <P>--------<BR>TIME <p>[This message has been edited by Almost Happy (edited October 05, 1999).]

You know, it's funny, there is one room in the house (my work room, I am an artist) that I haven't been able to go into forever, I wonder if I rearrange the furniture if that would help, thanks for the tip, we tried other ways (hee hee) of taking away that memory but it never worked, so maybe the rearrange thing would! THANKS! <P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<P>

Well, my wife still won't be intimate with me, but if she gets to that point, I have a burning desire to "do it" at all the places they did. One can wish, can't he?

Not wierd at all!! In fact, after just reading WasStubborn's thread about her bonfire, I was thinking I ought to start a thread asking how many people have done stuff like this <P>After Dunc's trip to The Land Of Fruit & Nuts (CA - *just joking*, Californicators, OOPS, I mean *Californians* ) - to meet his internet soul-mate <barf>, a couple of weeks after confession (in fact it was late on Halloween night)(is that perfect??), I made him show me her picture on his laptop computer - then I made him nuke them all - then I got really pissed & upset - made him bring me the 'underoos' he'd been wearing when he saw her - & burned 'em in the fireplace!! (He'd also been wearing this really nice silk sweater that I loved - I came *this close* to torching that too! - but decided to hold off for a few days, & ultimately decided not to - but I KNEW there was no way in he!! I wanted to see him *inside* those unders again!!!) Burn away, folks - I think it's purifying!!

Hi there,<BR> Hey, I made my H sell his brand new mid life crisis Corvette convertible and did we take a hit on it!!($)....oh well , I thought that car was EVIL.LOL......Lu

<BR>Not wierd to me.<P>All of the clothes I know my wife bought for her meeting with the OM (Victoria's Secret jammies and other things) and the souveniers she brought back with her are gone now. It took a while, but it feels better. There's still the matter of the CD, though... I may just buy a replacement.<P>

One of the pictures of the OW that I found showed her wearing a black and gold corset thing with garters and black stockings. My H had given it to her for her birthday, Jan. 16th. He gave me the SAME OUTFIT two days later for my birthday! (Well, not the exact same one, one just like it) Found the reciept which listed only one purchase, so he really covered his tracks! Know how much he spent on her B-day tho! <BR> I told him I was going to burn it, but have not done so yet. Thought of sending it to the OW, so she could have two. Didn't do that either. The thing is still stuffed in a drawer under my bed. I will never wear it again, but am waiting to have a burning ceremony of all the things I have collected when I am convinced beyond a doubt that she is no longer a threat.<P>H also bought a lot of cheap t-shirts when he was on trips to Hawaii (that is where she lives) and those are slowly disappearing. Can't imagine where?<P>So.... No, you are not weird!<BR>