Disclaimer: For you guys that don't know me (this is to you, Rin) I'm a real stickler for making every effort to follow the MB principles to a T and dotted Is. Almost my entire SAA book is highlighted. When I went off course and tried to do it MY WAY, I really screwed up and I regret the time period that I enabled my H's affair..LONG STORY....

That being said...I fully support you in this that you say, MP:



ever again, PERIOD!!!! Lovingly, let your H know that any contact with the OW is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE to you and that you will help him make sure that it NEVER happens again in his LIFETIME. During your "quality time" together, work on a PLAN to MAKE SURE this happens. It takes, as you notice, recognizing when he is vulnerable..what makes him vulnerable..You know now that going out with friends is not a good thing.

Also, don't forget that each contact starts WITHDRAWAL all over again..for my FWH, WITHDRAWAL lasted a FULL SIX MONTHS...and it was, at least, a year before he was FULLY OUT OF THE FOG.

There's lots of stuff that Steve Harley told me that I WILL NEVER FORGET. One tidbit was TO ASSUME CONTACT UNLESS YOU HAVE ABSOLUTE PROOF THAT THERE IS NONE. When your H is working with you..serious about Recovery..and I'm not saying that he is not because I don't know enough about your situation.. he will understand and accept that you will be checking because your marriage is that important to you and he will appreciate your WORKING WITH HIM AS A MARITAL TEAM in maintaining no contact with the OW.

I LIVED the difference between SINCERITY and LACK OF SINCERITY....there is a MAJOR DIFFERENCE....well, it was in my situation....

"(this is to you, Rin) I'm a real stickler for making every effort to follow the MB principles to a T and dotted Is."

Dj...I'm well aware that you are a very by the book person!

Rin, I hope you know that I was not at all feeling offended by anything you have said here. I thought you may not know this about me. How would you I know that you knew about my "stick to the bookness"? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Getting back to you, MP..

I encourage you to CHANGE THAT CELL PHONE NUMBER, IMMEDIATELY..

All means of contact with the OW need to be blocked immediately!!!

And also, it certainly is a WONDERFUL that your FWH is being HONEST with you.

I think he is wanting your HELP...

He is not ADDICTED to HER. He is ADDICTED to the FEELING that the affair produced. He wants to be with you, MP. That's for sure.. He probably needs your help with this last leg of the race.

KEEP HIM AWAY FROM THE DRUG DEALER- OW! at all costs!! (Another quote directly from STEVE HARLEY to me).

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I was researching for where I saw it...I thought that it was on SHMI's Pa thread, but I can't seemed to find it.

"Rin, I hope you know that I was not at all feeling offended by anything you have said here"

Great, I was feeling very honored to hold a conversation with a long time MBer like yourself. I feel that I have learned alot from the posts that I have read from you.


"He is not ADDICTED to HER. He is ADDICTED to the FEELING that the affair produced. He wants to be with you, MP. That's for sure.. He probably needs your help with this last leg of the race."

I completely agree here!

"KEEP HIM AWAY FROM THE DRUG DEALER- OW! at all costs!!"


LMAO