I spoke to my WH just a little while ago about our finances. That is all we talk about anymore. He told me about a month ago that he is never coming home and it is over. He is still sticking to that story. Yet, when I asked him if he is seeking a divorce he says no. He said if I wanted a divorce I would have asked for one. When I ask him why he wouldn't want one if he says it's over, he just says "I DON'T KNOW!" I am so sick of those words!!!! I don't want a divorce but I don't want it over either. I just don't understand this. Has anyone else come across the "It's over" speech but doesn't want a divorce? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> This is making me crazy.

Mine is doing the exact same thing.

In my case she clearly still loves me but has decided that she is scared to trust me. Somehow i am the vicious villain while she (the cheater) is an innocent bunny.

THE FOG SUCKS.

LosingHim,

You are still thinking of your husband as he was prior to the affair. He is no longer a "reasonable" person. Stop trying to make sense out of what he does or says and concentrate on what you want and how you are going to accomplish it.

Read everything you can find on this website.

Maybe this link will help: Dealing with Romantic Affairs

Fog Translation: "I Don't Know" = I want you to initiate the divorce action so I can make YOU look like the villian. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

It's still all about him and his way of avoiding responsibility for his actions. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I wouldn't start divorce proceding but I would speak to a Lawyer about ways to protect myself financially. WS's have a habit of wracking up big expenses quickly! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Sorry that I am not familiar with your story. Have you exposed WH / OW yet?

Stay Strong!

I DON'T KNOW was the answer to EVERY question I asked my wife.

The priest I spoke with said she probably was hoping for "suicide by cop", meaning by telling me everything she was hoping I would pull the trigger.

I didn't... this totally spun her for a loop. Not only did I not pull the trigger, I figuratively put it in my holster and reached opened my arms... the only thing that NOBODY can do is MAKE her come into them. The have to walk over ON THEIR OWN.

I know that I blew her away by losing weight, accepting responsibility for what I could have done better, and most of all... by telling her that I love her and forgive her.

She seems to be working a little harder on my part, but still has not said she's sorry to me for her actions. I sometimes have a hard time with that, but try to remind myself what so many people here have told me... take what she's saying with a grain of salt, and don't expect anything in return for my Plan A actions.

I hope this helps a little... the people here have been a blessing to me.

Oh yeah! I have exposed everywhere and every way I could think of. He came clean to me, left the house and has continued the affair ever since last October.