I was speaking with a good friend of mine that is also good friends with my wife. He told me that he had spoken to my wife the other day at lunch. He told me that my trying to control the situation (slowing the divorce) was making her resentful of me. He said that I should go with the flow and cooperate. He said that she doesn't believe much of what I have to say. That is understandable I guess.<P>He said that if she feels slighted in the least bit in the divorce, that there isn't a chance for us in the future. What he is referring to is that if I don't give my soon-to-be-ex-wife half of the house that is legally mine, she will never come back to me. That was his opinion. I asked Dr. Harley during his radio show about this. He told me that she is not going to stay or come back to me because of $$$. He said she didn't marry me because of it, so she won't come back to me because of it. He said I should take what is legally mine.<P>I am so confused. I really want my wife to come back to me. Do I take a professional's advice (Dr. Harley) or do I take a friend's advice, someone that knows my wife? This is such a stressful decision. I hate that it comes to money, but it is a big decision.<P>When my wife divorces me, she is divorcing me entirely. Should I still support her financially? That doesn't seem right. I love her and I want what is best for her, but how far should I go? Is it fair for her to even ask for half of my "separate" property?<P>HELP!<P>rhooks4

I think Dr. Harley is right, friend is mistaken. <P>He might think that based on what your wife is saying right now.<P>You know she is not acting like herself.<P>It will be your consistant attitude that will win her back, not $$$.<P>She resents you no matter what you do now anyway. Plus you said it will make it easier to build a life without you.<P>I like your trust ideas from before. Just be sure you explain your rational.<P>She can't have cake and eat it too. Her actions have consequenses too. Don't think she is willing to admit that yet.<P>No she can't believe you yet. That's why you need to be consistant far into the future.<P>But of course this is just my opinion.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

I agree with Harley...I'd wager a fair amount that Harley has been in the counseling business far longer than this friend. <P>Why is she talking to a male friend about this anyway? I would be slightly suspicious to tell you the truth. And *I* was the betrayer, so that tells you something.<P>I pray for the best outcome.<P>Tracy