I was posting a while back in "recovery" which I came to realize that I wasn't really in. Quick update...
1st d-day April 23 but H still worked with OW. Despite his persuading that the A was over it continued.
2nd d-day August 25. Then H told his boss about the A and that he would have to leave but soon OW quit the job. He swore that it was over that there would be NC.
He agreed with MC with SH which I started with a private session on Aug.20th, then the OW called on the 22nd and said that the A was still going on. H adamantly denied continued A.
Sat the 23rd, 3rd D-day and H finally admitted to seeing OW again (after denying it for a day)
He had his private MC session with SH on Aug.25th.
First he wrote out NC policy, then we had another appt. on the 27th, (Wed) and SH told H to write up a NC letter and to tell ALL to me re: the past 7 months.
Here's where I'm stuck.....
He told me SOO much info. that now I am soo mad, and hurt and angry that I really want to walk out. I can't take it anymore. This is the third time he got caught and not the first affair.
I was trying soo hard to do anything to make it work and now that I know all of the truth I am shocked, disappointed and discouraged that there will ever be a real change. I feel like I don't know what to do with all of the information. The truth hurts sooo much, I feel like I can't go on in the M. Is there ever a time when Enough is enough?

Daisy, you may not be able to continue with the marriage, and that would be perfectly acceptable. It is your right, and only yours, to make that decision. Only *YOU* know what you can or can't endure.

However, please don't make that decision while you are furious. Your anger will not last forever, but a divorce WILL. For me, I decided to dump my H when I found out about the affair and kicked him out. However, he worked very hard to prove himself to me and my anger eventually subsided. We now have a great marriage.

I know exactly how you feel right now and many of us have been exactly there: DISGUSTED, REVOLTED and greatly disappointed. I felt like puking when my H even touched me because I lost all respect for him when I found out what he had done. But, he worked very hard to rebuild trust and has become a man I can respect and love again. This is possible with your H if you give him a chance and he is willing to do some very hard work.

My advice to you is to accept that this is supposed to be very painful, that it won't go away overnight, and to not make any decision about ending your marriage until the shock subsides.

(((((Daisy))))))

I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation.

There are others here who are better equipped to advise you, than I am.

I just wanted to tell you that you won't always feel like you do right now. By that I mean, all the overwhelming pain you feel right now.

You might want to think about making an appointment w/ an IC and getting on ADs.

Blessings to you.

~ Marsh

p.s. and while it doesn't feel like it now, you should be grateful that you DID get the truth. With the facts about your life out in the open, you have the ability to make an INFORMED decision about your own life. I found it much more painful to live in ignorance and wonder what was really going on in my own life.

So, you aren't really stuck in "sadness," you are in RECOVERY, a normal recovery. And knowing the truth about your life is the first step in that direction.

Daisy, I know how you feel. I got all the rest of the details I asked last week. There were about 200 of them. I now feel like I know every detail of the affair. I feel disgusted, depressed and a lack of love for my husband. I replay them having sex over and over agian all day long.

He is trying hard to make amends but I just feel like leaving sometimes. I think you need to give it some time before making a decision or you may regret your decision after the initial anger dies down.

Do what you have to do to just get through the day without breaking down. Try to do at least one nice thing for yourself every day (even if you really don't feel like it). Go see a good Therapist and get on ADs.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know how painful it is. People keep saying that it gets better. Try to believe that it will.