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Joined: Jun 2002
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Hey everyone. Sorry I have been MIA. Some on here have been talking to me online...but I have been off the last two months for a reason.
Since our court date was in July...once things settled down in August, I was beginning to be hit hard. Not by anything my wife was doing. But what I diagnosed pretty quickly as withdrawal. I was surprised somewhat that I was actually going thru it. And although I knew what it was, and was prepared for it somewhat...it was difficult as many of you know. The last week, I pretty much came out of that (Dr. Harley's timelines are pretty accurate!!). So, I feel pretty good about moving forward and not being bitten by this bug again.
But during it, it was very difficult jsut to do the daily stuff. I had no energy by 7pm at night. But I knew it would pass.
So, anyway...I am going to take a day or two and catch up on everyone's sitch here...and get back in action!!
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Thanks for the update. Missed you and had wondered how you were doing.
Married 1976
Me:BS
Him:FWS
MB Weekend March 2003
2 S's: '77 & '80, 1 D: '82
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(((((Mortarman)))))
Hi brother! Glad to hear you are starting to feel better.
God bless!
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Hi MM,
Andrenaline is not a long lasting energy source but it does help us get through. Seems like your body knows it needs some RR or attention. I certainly can relate to what you are saying.
take care,
L.
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Glad to have you back MM!
WTF
*** Warning *** Make sure brain is engaged before shifting mouth out of Neutral.
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Prayed for you! welcome back!
cc
"Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
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I went thru similar MM and very much understand & empathize. Welcome back to you.
Jo
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I'm going through it now. Still haven't let go of my ex. Trying and I empathise. Glad to see you back and glad to know you will give your insight again.
BS-34
EXWW-27
DD-4
DS-Twin boys, 2
D-Day-28 Feb 06
Divorced-24 March 06 (no contest D)
Separated from Air Force - 30 Apr 06
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Big ol hug from Texas!
(btw: we got the kids!)
- Kimmy
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Thanks everyone!
The withdrawal was typical as outlined by Dr. Harley. Once I knew what it was, I was better able to handle it. All I did was roll with the punches. If it was hitting me hard...I did less. I really tried to cut myself a break. I also went out of my way not to have any contact with my wife. I had found that everytime I talked to her or saw her, anger would start to well up.
The reason I know I am out of it now is that I am more in contact with her now...and it doesnt affect me at all. I am tryign to interact on kid-related stuff...and when I do, I dont have the feeling that I want to wring her neck (just kidding...sort of!!).
So, anyone that goes thru this should take heart that all you need to do is keep focused and understand it will pass in short order. And just do the things you need to do to make it thru the day.
Kimmy...I have to find your thread because I would love to hear the story about you and getting the kids!
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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>I really tried to cut myself a break.
You're such a good guy. You DESERVED a break.
You really have been a God-send to us....even lighthouses need to rest the beacon so they don't burn out.
(((MM)))
Kimmy
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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God bless! That timeframe does hold true!!!
MWIL
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Hope your feeling better, MM.
Its been a bumpy ride.
I will hold you up in prayer, MM and pray for a full recovery for your broken heart.
((MM))
Big hug for you,
k.d.'s heartbreak
In the end, I have nothing to lose but everything to gain, by trying to save my marriage.
Me, betrayed wife 46
Former Wandering Husband, 51 E/A 2005
28 years of marriage
DD 26, DS 24
O/W aka, Rat 29, A-D Assisted Living
Discovery 8-20-05 Recovery ongoing.
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Glad to see you back again and glad you're doing well.
Question for you.... You said the following.......
The reason I know I am out of it now is that I am more in contact with her now...and it doesnt affect me at all. I am tryign to interact on kid-related stuff...and when I do, I dont have the feeling that I want to wring her neck (just kidding...sort of!!).
You mentioned wanting to wring her neck. Any residual feelings of love or sadness b/c of the D?
Just wondering. Will be going there soon and I get the sad feelings for what we once had now. Will be glad when the "wish we could have made it" feelings are gone and I'm glad it's over.
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Glad to see you back again and glad you're doing well.
Question for you.... You said the following.......
The reason I know I am out of it now is that I am more in contact with her now...and it doesnt affect me at all. I am trying to interact on kid-related stuff...and when I do, I dont have the feeling that I want to wring her neck (just kidding...sort of!!).
You mentioned wanting to wring her neck. Any residual feelings of love or sadness b/c of the D?
Just wondering. Will be going there soon and I get the sad feelings for what we once had now. Will be glad when the "wish we could have made it" feelings are gone and I'm glad it's over. L2S, Yes...of course there is. The feelings arent gone. In many ways, I doubt they ever will be. But, the withdrawal...that feeling we all know well as Satan continually throws salt on our wounds...that lessens. It is like those recovered marriages. Does what happened go away? Nope. But the pian lessens and as you move forward, it begins to look smaller in the rear view mirror. I had a doctor tell me once that it is almost impossible to break a bone where it was broken previously. I dont know if it is true or not...but that when it mends, it actually mends stronger than the original. Or, that scar tissue is tougher than regular skin. This is how I like to look at it. I am who I am because of my scars. My wife, as I mend each day, becomes less likely of being able to "break" me again. Sure, she can hurt me. But not like before...not even remotely so. So, the answer is yes. I sometimes wonder WHEN she gets all of this..where will I be? I dread the day where I get that phone call. Where I am remarried and on with my life. And then my ex calls up and says "I am sorry...I made a huge mistake." Tears of repentence. I dread that because of all the reasons we all know are true. I dread it because she didnt wake up in time...and I couldnt wait any longer. In many ways, I hope she never figures it out. Or if she does, she just keeps it to herself. I dont want to know...I dont want to hear it. So, roll with the punches and understand where you are and where yo uare going. He will take care of the rest.
Standing in His PresenceFBS (me) (48) FWW (41) Married April 1993... 4 kids (19(B), 17(G), 14(B), 4(B)) Blessed by God more than I deserve "If Jesus is your co-pilot...you need to change seats!"Link: The Roles of Husbands and Wives
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