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#1753436 10/03/06 05:38 AM
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Hi All! Thanks in advance.

ex & I try to to accomodate changes in schedules when it comes to the kids. He has changed nights with the boys due to my work schedule I have changed weekends with him when he has requested & I'm able. He has made more changes than I have which have involved weekends.

This is 3 day weekend & it's his with the boys. He asked me last week if I could change. No I can't I have plans for Sat. My oldest has plans to see a concert with a friend, during the day closer to my home than ex's, so I've aggreed my son can stay here Fri. night to make it easier for the people taking him to &from the concert.

Last night ex emails asking if he can bring the other two boys her Sat. afternoon then pick them up Sun. morning. He phrases it in a way that he thinks will make it attractive to me by saying "you'll have them for a birthday breakfast then I'll pick them up." Probably out of the mouth of gf. I tell him no I can't do that I won't be here & I don't want the boys here alone.

The problem is I don't want my son to miss out on this concert he gave us plenty of time to work in just because ex is a selfish you know what. Oldest son can sleep here Sat. night as well if the alternative is to miss the concert but I'm afraid I offer this too soon ex will try to finagle something for the other boys as well. Plus he won't try to make it work for oldest son he will just once again rely on me.


Formerly nam here since 07/31/03 coastal, CT
nams #1753437 10/03/06 05:57 AM
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Just found out from oldest son the very important thing ex wants to do but can't because he has his children this weekend is gf's class reunion.

I so don't want this to piss me off & make my stomach churn, but it is... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />


Formerly nam here since 07/31/03 coastal, CT
nams #1753438 10/03/06 06:11 AM
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I'd be a tad angry, too. My ex and I are quite flexible with the arrangements, too. Presumably he had plenty of notice of this event and should have tried to arrange something way prior to the week before (either with you or look for other alternatives).

You have plans for Saturday. You can't do it. Keep saying it, maybe it'll sink in at some point. He needs to make other arrangements or change his plans.


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Why can't the ex get a babysitter? Or bring the younger boys to the reunion?

If you really want to "help him out," why not agree to take the boys for the weekend, but not swap weekend? "Sure, sweetie ex, I'll take the boys so you can hang out with your GF at her reunion. But, I consider this as me filling in, and I'm not swamping weekends." Then, get a babysitter for while you're gone.

That should make it clear to ex that he has to choose between the boys and the girlfriend for this weekend.

We all are faced with that choice at points. Just because he chooses to go with GF doesn't make him bad, but he also has to pay the consequences. Oh, yeah, and hit him up for baby sitter money and pizza money for while you're away.

Unless you were entertaining at home??????? Yes, I'm fishing for more information here.


Divorced.
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Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15
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Oh yes, more information needed on your Saturday plans.....


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ex got in touch to say "OK, thanks I'll pick up oldest son after the concert."

Phew, I can relax.

However I did drag oldest son into this & I feel terrible about that. I told him he could stay with me Sat. also but don't tell dad yet. We'll see if he can get his selfish a.s together to fix this on his own without depending on me.

When son told me ex was so hot to have Sat. night without the boys so he could go to gf's reunion I pretty much lost it.


Formerly nam here since 07/31/03 coastal, CT
nams #1753442 10/03/06 10:01 AM
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Oh, Sat. plans...NOT a date, NOT with a man. I'll be going with a couple of dear friends to a pottery store to buy some stuff for the community center studio. Maybe some tempting glazes for myself.

We always have lots of fun together so I'm really looking forward to the trip.


Formerly nam here since 07/31/03 coastal, CT
nams #1753443 10/03/06 09:25 PM
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It's OK to take time for ourselves. And X should have made his own arrangements with the boys. However, if he was asking your first, using the right of first refusal, then that was a good thing.
See, it all worked out.


It was a marriage that never really started.
H: Conflict Avoider, NPD No communication skills (Confirmed by MC) Me: Enabler
Sep'd 12/01, D'd 08/03.
My joys and the light of my life: DD 11, DD 9
*Approach life and situations from the point of love - not from fear.*

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