Take it from someone who is still trying to shake off an XGF who seems to have watched Fatal Attraction reruns a few times too many (and no, I would not be exaggerating if I said that G has told me that I have not right to break up with her without her consent <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />) - don't bother to convince someone that your reasons are valid. It was your choice, end of story.


Yikes!! Why would you do that?? It is a sure fire recipe to continue the drama for the next two months - loads of entertainment for us readers, but nothing but trouble for you.

I say it's time for you to pull an AGG, and go dark. I changed my garage security code this evening, thanks to a psycho ex - must be something going around these days.

AGG

You've not gone dark, AGG, you're in "your cave"! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

My advice is to listen to what your inner voice is telling you. If it is your hope that in time her feelings toward you will fade, then being a presence in her life, even simply as a "friend", will prevent that from happening.

It is killing me to post this...

I've hesitated saying anything, because I already know what you are going to say. I already know what it is that I have to do...

I have to go dark... I just don't know if I am strong enough to do it...

M's boyfriend, D, of 5 years came down to talk to her last night. Actually, they made plans for him to come down before he told her he cheated on her. She didn't think he would come down, but he did anyway.

He came down and spent the night. They slept together. The guy cheats on her and she still shares her bed with him. She says no SF but that's not the point.

He tried his best to get in her pants last night. He told her that if only she had a bigger house, he would have moved in with her when he moved back from California. The guy has frickin 3 or 4 million dollars in the bank and his single mother girlfriend can't afford a larger house to support his *ss is the reason he didn't give her what she wanted! I sincerely hate the f'ng slimeball now. Sincerely hate. In 5 years, she's never met his parents or family. He's playing her... and she lets herself get played by constantly making excuses for him.

I try talking to her about it at lunch and she doesn't want to talk about it. Her mind is on a problem at work.

I want to help her get her life together, but I can't be responsible for her life. I can't be part of the solution when I am part of the problem. I thought maybe I could be a crutch... She says I give her strength to resist him. But I know, she needs to find the strength within herself. And as long as I'm with her, she won't find it.

She hasn't eaten in the last two weeks. Even now with my encouragement, she's only eating one or two slices of toast a day. But I can't think about that. I can't let myself be responsible for that.

So... how was your day?

You can't fix anyone..they have to fix themselves.

Ok, I'm confused. I thought YOU were M's boyfriend or at least had been, this past year....

Were you guys not exclusive then?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Anyway, yes, I retract my earlier opinion. Go dark. She sounds very messed up and there is nothing you can do to help her, especially if being friends w/ you will enable her to continue on as she is. She has to find her own way. It must be very hard to watch someone you care about be so lost.

She reminds me quite a bit of Karona's exBF. She too wanted to help him, but chose, for herself and him, to let him go

Find the strength to let her go.....

HUGS!

Dude, you better come join me in the cave... Something is definitely in the air, XGFs are going nonlinear left and right... Come over, we'll have a beer, talk about "guy stuff", maybe talk about MB girls <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />. Anything to keep M away from you and G away from me, yikes.

AGG

I agree DW.
BG~ Your current sitch does remind me of my own some time ago. xbf got married, it didn't work out, called me while still married wanting/needing a friend. It was a hard decision to not be his friend during that time. But, I knew I was the last "friend" he needed help from. Too much history to be just a friend.

I think distance [aka, go dark] yourself from M. It will be a good for both of you. She needs to grow and you need to be treated better, and by someone who is capable of doing that.

K~

Make it exciting though, cause some of our lives are kind of slow right now, right Newly?!!

K~