My thread is somewhere this forum. Long story short, my WH has an A with a single OW and moved in with her. I did the pretty good plan A and a perfect plan B , and my husband moved back in 2 months ago. Things between us were getting better, and we were on our way to recovery. NC had been established. Well 2 nights ago she called and left a message saying she was pregnant. My WH and I just both fell apart. He cried and I cried.

I am so angry and frustrated and I dont feel like venting to my husband. He already has fallen apart. It is amazing we still want our marriage to work. But, I really need some adivce to get through this, just as I did to survive his affair. I am absolutely devastated. We dont have any children, and were planning on starting a family within the next year. We wanted to work on fixing the marriage first before having children.

I actually hate the OW and blame her for being stupid enough to get pregnant. Yes, I know it is just as much former WH fault as it hers, but I cant help but feel this way. I hate the fact that my H will be tied to her because of this child. I do believe she still wants my H, as she is apparently excited about having this baby.

My H is absolutly devastated. Never seen him so upset. I do not want him to have contact with OC, but havent told him so. I just cant get myself to say it. I am so angry....

Not sure what advice anyone can give me, but I just wanted to vent my frustations. Thanks.

I think you should have your attorney write her a letter, advising her that there will be no contact until after the baby is born and a DNA test establishes that your H is the father.

She will try to convince your H that he needs to go to the doctor with her, help support her when she takes maternity leave, that he needs to be there for the baby...blah, blah, blah... Don't fall for any of that. The baby won't need anything from him until it's born and proven to be his child, and even then, all he really has to do is provide financial support.

Whether to have contact with the child can be considered later. You have plenty of time to work out the logistics of arranging contact with the child while maintaining your H's NC with the mother.

Do not give her any money until AFTER you have a positive DNA test in your hand, and then, you should go through the courts. If you pay child support without going through the courts, she could still come back and sue your H for back child support, as some states consider money given in absence of court-ordered CS to be a "gift".

Your H should NOT meet with her or talk with her either. Get an attorney, and let him handle it.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. You can probably find better support on the Pregnancy/OC Board.

I just wanted to chime in and state that Lady Clueless gave you some execellent advise.

You WILL find excellent support on the Pregnancy / OC Board. There are some excellent posters on that board that can help you through this.

Stay Strong!

I am sorry for this news but you realize this is a typical OW ploy. So how long has it been? What is she claiming?

In our case, the OW was a freakin' rabbit. Hence the name PBR (psycho babble rabbit). The 45 year old OW claimed preggers 3x, in fact she was soooo gifted in the hoof, that she claimed she knew she was carrying a girl (that's what H always wanted - why I'll never know....he had 6 sisters in his family and each had issues, some quite serious.

The 3rd time, she demanded $$. Wanted to have her medical expenses covered. She never showed proof and no doctor's name was ever provided.

We both cried like you did then got angry. Then we formulated a plan. It as interesting how the then WS was willing to put sooo much in my hands. Like he didn't want to deal with it, yet I made him deal with it. I support from the sidelines but he communicated with her and he told her to give him proof. Peeing on a strip wasn't good enough for me. LOL!!! I wanted something in writing from the doctor and that's when the preggers went into the toilet. She never coughed up the proof yet she had convinced him it was his child and a girl to boot. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

By then I could reverse babble quite well (that's after the 2nd time). I gave them both a hard time. The OW even called me at 11pm one night to tell ME she was pregant. I reorted, why are you telling me, you s/b telling your HUSBAND!! That made her angry enough to hang and that was my immediate goal.

The moral of the story: Never wake a BS who is getting a good night's sleep, she will be cranky and shoot out RBs like it's nobody's business. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.

Seriously doubt its true Masosa.

If he's had no contact with her for over 2 months -- she's either not pregnant at all, or its not his.

I think this is a ploy to get back with your husband.
Demand proof.

Hi guys....

After month since the OW announced she was pregnant, yesterday my H said he wants a D.

He moved out a month ago soon soon after finding out she was pregnant. I kicked him out cuz he had started talking to her again. But, I regret it now. I did it what seemed right at the moment

I have doing plan A for about 1 month since he moved out, and it seemed to be working. He started comming over everyday and calling. OW does not live here. She lives states away. I really felt he was gonna come back home. He is staying with a friend.

And then out of left field he announce yesterday he wants a D. He said he doesnt love me. He went back and forth about saying he loved OW. Sometimes he said he did, and others he said he didnt. He said they fight alot. He also said he needed to work on R with OW.....I know this is all because she is pregnant. He said he was doing this for me (the D).

I have done plan A and B before. It took months of plan B to bring him home the first time. He seemed committed and I
feel he still would be if OW wasnt pregnant.

I really dont want a D. I feel like he is doing what is easy and not necesarilly whats best. Anyone have any suggestions....I am really scared.

He is comming over this afternoon to talk some more

Where's the proof and secure your finances. Expect the OW to hit you up for medical support and more $$. What type of person is the OW. Did you do a background check?

Demand proof at the very least. When he asks why, say it is because you are protecting the family's interest from a gold digging preggo farce (gdgf). If she keeps it up, you will add 'rabbit' to that description. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Don't worry about him coming home right now. Mine stayed out there as a WS long enough for the OW to claim preggo 3x. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

L.

Hey Orchid...thanks for responding. I have asked him repeatedly to demand proof,... but he wont do it.

She has already asked to pay half of the bills. I know something happened this week, but dont know what. He was over and we were having dinner, and I guess his phone rang, but he didnt answer it. And then I guess she called again, and then he went outside to answer it. He came back in and looked upset and took off. Thats never happened. That was a few days ago, and all of sudden he says he wants a D....

Dont know much about OW...I done a background check, but not much come up on her.

As far as the finance and stuff, already took care of things when I kicked him out a month ago.

If I were you, I would go directly back to Plan B. The OW is so desperate to hold on to your WH that she is playing the baby card. How pathetic. I'm sure there will be lots of drama surrounding them - I would opt out, if I were you.