For those who have been following my threads the past few days...
WH didn't have any answers for me last night because he 'didn't feel well'...PULEEZE!!! How old are we?? I let it go for the night, because I was tired and aggravated frankly.
So today is D Day - actually this morning is, because I am getting an answer from him. I think he is avoiding this subject b/c he is attempting to buy time to think of all the 'reasons' he shouldn't have to change his cell # or write the NC letter...i know WH well enough that i am probably not far from the truth on that. If that's the game he's planning on playing, he can bring it on.

He will attempt a curve ball or to 2 to throw you off. R U prepared? What if he says, NC must be done in person. I can't hurt her feelings? Or if he says, you can listen while I call her? Or if he gives some OTHER method?

The reason why I ask is that is just what the WS did in my case. They had time to plan some of those 'break ups'. It was more of joke to the OW (though the 1st one hurt her). I believe she cried. But she broke it about 20 minutes later. So much for NC.

See the drive to be defiant is strong with the WS and the OW will do her best to keep him that way. So stand your ground, when he complains how come it has t/b your way? Let him know in no uncertain terms.....because 'that's the way it is. That as a WS, you have his number and realize that he will balk no matter how good your plan and not matter which method you choose. Then throw in if he wants t/b difiant, then you will know he wants t/b a WS and not your H. See when you let him know you know.....then it w/b harder for him to do the stuff he knows you know. Crazy but somewhere in there is their stupid logic.

Hope I haven't confused you.

take care,
L.

Orchid - - I am SO prepared it's scary. I am so on to him and his games.
See, he's done this all before. It's not working this time.

There are 2 things he has to to save this M. These 2 things are not negotiable. It's not one or the other. It's not 'can i do it this way instead?'.

Change your cell # now. Write and mail the NC letter now.

Do it and WE move on. Don't do it and I move on.

Just wanted to keep u prepared. Those WS can hit hard during these times. I used to get angry at how after all that happened mine could manipulate me so. Eventually when I turned that corner and my mind and heart went in sync then I became much stronger. My RB helped me keep him alive and me sane.

But as prepared as you feel I didn't want you t/b lulled into a false sense of security. When they blow it after our mind and heart are in sync, it is much easier to mean and give ultimatums. When they complain about those ultimatums, it is easier to admit they are ultimatums and walk away.

Then the guilt is all on them. So that's another way to get relief.

Remind yourself of your boundaries. Mine was the OW was NOT t/b in MY LIFE. Even if this meant losing the WS and H. I didn't mind losing the WS but would have missed my H. Yet I was willing t/d that because I could not tolerate an OW in my life. When I commited to that boundary, life became easier for me....so did all the RBing I did. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

take care,
L.

typical WS reaction.

He's trying to make no decision. He's going to make you FORCE it, or maybe you'll make the decision for him.

When are you confronting him again? This morning sometime?
We'll be cheering you on!

Lexx---

I am confronting him this morning - im practically sitting on my hands right now. Giving him an hour....

Yes, it is a typical reaction. I bet i can recite almost word-for-word some of what he's going to say:

1. I promise 'this time' i wont call OW anymore. I know you dont believe me (LOL) but this time i really mean it.
2. I can't mail her a letter because I don't know her address.
3. I can't change my cell # what will I tell everyone?
4. YOU need to 'fill in the blanks' then i will do this

It is truly comical...if it weren't so damn sad.

I will let you know as soon as i talk to WH!