Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 31
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 31 |
Post deleted by sadsadsad
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 805
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 805 |
Hi sad(cubed)
Like you, I found out about my husband's affair recently. His happened 17 years ago. As you have probably figured out by reading here, the affair is fresh when it is discovered or revealed. It doesn't matter how much time has passed- it hurts the same.
You husband wants to gloss over it because it's ancient history to him. But your feelings are valid and he must get to the point of working with you, if he values your marriage and expects you to stay with him.
It's good that you're in marriage counseling. Keep the faith in yourself and try to recover from this shock, with or without him. Hopefully he will come around as he sees positive changes in you.
Best wishes.
Me: 45
Him: 47
married 23 years
Two wonderful sons
D-day for my EA: 8/15/04
D-day for his PAs: 8/16/06
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,515
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,515 |
Anger is often a cover. They get angry to deflect attention from the real problem. Then you spend your time trying to get him to calm down, not discussing the root cause, or the real problem
It is 22 years old for him, but it is brand new to you. It's going to take time to process, and work through.
I suggest you get the book "Surviving an Affair" from this web site. It will help you work through the feelings, even though the even itself is long past.
How are you coping?
Are you OK most of the time, or is it difficult to do day to day things?
SS
I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
|
|
|
|
2 members (Adia, 1 invisible),
852
guests, and
77
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,032
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
|
|
