Hello Mys,

Boy, I am not good at this right now. I got home to S ontop of the kitchen table! I got him off and WW walks downstairs and is on her cell phone. She walks into our pantry to look at our family calendar and I hear, "Yeah, S has off those two days." When she is off the phone I ask, "What is going on with S?" She said, "What do you mean?" I said, "I heard you talking about days off." She said, "That was just dad and when S would have off because he is bringing the boys down to visit at the end of the month." I said, "Oh." Then I went to go upstairs to change and realized I forgot my cell phone on the table and that a friend of mine was going to call me. So, I went back to get it and W said, "Don't worry, I would not have looked at your phone." I said, "No, Mark is going to be calling me." Then I changed, got my lap top and came outside to go on MB.



There is nothing really in the savings I want to secure. There is probably $500 and not much in the checking account. In fact, I am going to need a check because I have an eye appointment and need contacts on Thursday, so I'll drain it a little more.

On the way home, I was given the number for a good lawyer. I'll call tomorrow. Not really sure how to pay this lawyer upfront because W has been in control of all the finances up to now.



Let me give you more of my background (as if you do not know the most about my sitch already). I have had three, what I would call big relationships in my life. The first I never married. We were just BF/GF. I ended up buying her a car (loan in my name/car in her name). Shortly after, she cheats on me and we break up. I lived through many months of ****** while I waited for her to pay her car payments. Eventually, she paid the car off.

The second big relationship was my last M. Near the end, my XW convinced me we needed to buy her a car. Her credit was not the greatest and so the loan had to be in my name alone. She wanted her name only on the title. I disagreed with this because of what had happened to me in the last relationship. She pushed and pushed and reasoned with me that she should not have to pay for other women's mistakes. I felt she was right and so I gave in. A year later, she cheats on me and we are finished. In the D I agree to take on EVERYTHING to keep my good credit (including 42 CCs I did not know about and they were maxed!). The only thing she became responsible for was her car payments. Unfortunately, the loan had to remain in my name (funny thing how banks really don't give a s**t about your personnel sitch.). Anyway, I suffered through years of her paying off this car. There were several months she was late and missed payments. It even came up as an issue in my current M when we built our first house and I the only blemishes I had on my credit rating were from this stupid car of my XW's.

In my current M, I was very skeptical when it came time to buy W a VERY nice and new car. She had bad credit when we first started dating. The stories are all the same (its from roomates I had that did not pay their fair share of the bills etc..). Anyway, we had been avidly trying to build up her credit and she really wanted to try and have the car in her name only. Unfortunately, this would not fly and it required my being on the loan. She wanted the car really bad. Now we are where we are.

I got to stop buying women cars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1



Absolutely! This was the whole purpose of setting up this account!



We have the joint checking and savings, which I am reffering too as the "house" and then she has her own checking account that she uses for herself and her Tastefully Simpe and Arrbonne. She would sell her products to the house at full cost and then reap the mark up into her private account instead of using her discount for the house. Heck, she would use her discount for the neighbors....



Yeah, this is another car situation. I am the only one on the loan and she and I are on the title.



Yeah, I guess you are right.



Got it under controll.



Exactly. I do not want her to run away with S!

Take Care Mys,

EL

So, is it normal for the WW to change habits the day after the BS plan Bs?

My W refuses to leave our house. I currently sleep downstairs on our couch, while she sleeps in our bedroom. I noticed today she pulled out her tarot cards. She was text messaging like crazy while I was home. She left stuff in her car and then went and got it when I was in S's bed with him reading a library book before bed. She also brought her purse upstairs, which she NEVER does. She leaves her purse downstairs every night. She ran out today and did something. Not sure what. Maybe she went and saw a lawyer? I am sure as SH says, she was most likely on the phone all day with her flawed support structure. I am sure someone must have suggested she seek a lawyer's opinion. It only makes sense.

Although this is my second M, this is my first following MB. I am not used to, nor are certain what to expect from WW right now. I guess she would be feeling a little nervous because she is uncertain of her future (her financial security has ALWAYS been the most important factor for her - she told me this in the beginning of our R and throughout). I also think she may feel a little bad because of our M seeming to end. However, I bet she also feels relief because she may feel free to do as she pleases right now. I guess it must be a pretty confusing time for her. My natural tendency is to want to comfort her because I love her. I know how stupid this sounds with what we are currently going through, but I can't help these thoughts. I am human....

I catch myself at first wondering what she is up to when I see these habit changes, but then I quickly remind myself that I have let go. I then feel a sense of calm, then a sense of relief and then I feel sorry for her. Not sure this is all normal on my end.

What are the opinions out there?

EL

Right now you should be loving your W. Tough loving your wife. Do not give in to what you think is kindness, being soft toward her now is not going to do anything other than increase her power in this triangle.

You need to be like a friend who speaks the truth to her without DJing, but with calm absolute confidence that it will help her.

Have you seen a father telling a son how to deal with honesty after a bad action? He would be firm and resolute. This is how you should be with anything you HAVE to say to W. (E.G. SH's suggested comment)


When WW rears its ugly head you can be just the same. No difference in your tone or demeanor, except all your words would be about doing the right thing for your family, none of them would be social small talk, all of them would - in as few words as possible - refute her nonsense.

BS are always subjected to fogspeak, do not fall for it. All apparently "sad or nice" things she says are poison, a very sweet tasting poison and if you imbibe, then your son is the one who will continue to be poisoned. She is poisoning his family life, the thing he needs above all else to live a good and fruitful life. You are an adult, you have a choice. he doesn't and you keep self talking about sucking down her sweet poison .... think of it this way. Your son needs you to make sure you are not conned into strengthening her marriage poison, by her acting.

If all her sadness and creeping to you every so often, (that makes you feel like you are scheming etc.) were true, she would be

1. at home sleeping in your bed

and

2. working very hard on MB.

That is the test you give it when you believe her and feel bad for her and guilty of being mean.

Is she doing the above? No? Then it is all an act.

Now you have a tool to test her actions and words when your love for her blinds you to the truth of her real actions and desires.


Linda

Good Evening SilverPool,



You are right. I get confused sometimes. I feel that the right thing is to go dark, very dark. However, SH tells me not to go dark, but to be gaurded. He tells me I can interact with her and to not ignore or be cold to her. However, I feel this is contradictory to plan B and would be sending a mixed signal or minimizing what I told her last night. I am confused.



Ok, thanks for the kidk. I tend to write what I am thinking and what is in my heart on this board. What I write is not necessarily how I will react to my W. For instance, my feeling sorry for her is not something I would tell her.



Yes, I have on my mind that I do not want her to think last night was just like all of our other talks and that I said what I said to manipulate her. I understand that you don't usually get a second chance to Plan B and have it really effective.

Tell me, do you think I can really make this "in-house" plan B really work for me?

What do you think of her change in habits? Is this to be expected?



I do want the best for my S. The best is for our family to make it through this and for him to see his M and D in love. You know, in 2005 in April, we took S to Disney Land and he tried to take both our hands and put them together the whole trip. He knew back then....



I understand what you mean. I just want to clarify that she IS sleeping in our bed. I am the one on the couch.

Tell me, with your experience what can I expect from WW over the next week? So far since I have been down on the couch tonight she has been down for a snack and then a smoke. She has said nothing to me.

Also, another poster, Mys, mentioned that I should be ready for WW to be testing me and increasing the "tests." Can you help me understand what tests she may be reffering too? I just want to be able to reckognize them for what they are.

Thanks for your kind input,

EL

Actually, I forgot to report on my last bit of communications with WW tonight. After I put S to bed, I walked into our bedroom and said, "I am going to need a check for Thursday as I have an eye appointment to have my eye infection checked out and hopefully get contacts. WW said, "You just spent $500 on S for the weekend and then charged the hotel room! There was only $800 total left over." I said, "Don't forget $75 for the swimming pass yesterday." She said, "Yeah, so there is not much left! I am not yelling at you about taking S on a nice weekend, I am just saying that you are spending money and do not have a lot left for the eye exam or contacts. Last month you bought running clothes from Dicks." I said, "Yes, I did." W said, "Fine. I'll figure out the checkbook tomorrow and see what is left." I walked away.....

Boy, is she going to hate it when she no longer is burdened with worrying about how much money I have left!!!!!!!!

EL

Your bed is where you sleep, she would be on the couch refusing to sleep apart from you. Asking you to come to the marital bed.

"Tests" Think sweet and sour and then sour and sour - anything she has already done and anything you haven't seen. You pass the test by not wavering. Keep the tone and attitude, don't let her off anything and don't fall for her "pain and hurt" unless she passes the test.

You are not in Plan B yet - in or out of the house.

Plan B requires a plan, a letter, and a means to deal with the WS, financially, childwise, legally during the plan B period. You are getting ready for if you do need Plan B. Get your ducks in a row, keep investigating, learn all you can. It will help you to know what you are dealing with, knowledge is power and you have felt powerless for long enough. I hope your new lawyer works out better.

You are holding your own and not succumbing to her anger, lies, silence, tears, cruelty or "sweet poison" SH has you in what I call a holding pattern. I went through it many times over the last four years. It is a time for gaining/regaining control of your emotional response to them and their fogspeak. It is also a time when your stature will grow in her eyes.


Linda

Extremely Lost


You're doing fine. That was good for you to question about your son.


Heh. Well, they say bad things come in threes -- maybe you're off the hook for this one. *nudges you playfully*

Anyway, I get your point. Don't pay the car if you don't want to do it. *shrugs* Given your history, it's understandable.


Right, I remember that she has it for her own money. How much was her monthly allowance for it?


Oh. That is really weird/kinda shady.


If you're the only one on the loan, then I would think it's really probable that the house will go to you. On the other hand that might be at the end of a really Looonnnngggg process - best avoided. Ask the lawyer about what your options are. Since she's not on the loan.. maybe you can get out from under it.


You too.


I would imagine so -- just about everything is normal, really.


She might have. It does make sense. She has a lot to loose if the marriage ends. You need to figure out where you stand w/regards to a divorce in different scenarios. (That way you'll have an idea where she would stand, too.)


Well, like you, she might feel some relief from the status quo -- as much as that seems in her favor. It's time you both explored options for resolution -- fix it or end it.

I only hope that your community is such that her opportunities for settlement aren't too cushy (ie. cushy enough to incent her to leave rather than to stay).

Which is not to say that I want her to stay under duress. Like SH said, if she could get you out of the house, keep her lifestyle, and keep primary custody of your son (and maybe someday insert some other man in your place) then that would be awfully 'easy' (easy as in not a lot of work/change) for her. I really believe that if she's determined to go, she'll go. On the other hand, if both paths look like a LOT of work and divorce requires her to: get a full time job and still have her lifestyle drastically reduced, stay in the community so you can see your son, give up her nice house that she's worked on a lot, loose time with your son, etc. Then, perhaps she'll 'see reality' as SH puts it and realize that working on the marriage is hard work -- but so is the alternative and the outcome for your son weighs in the favor of you two staying together.


She's not 'up' to anything mysterious, El. Don't make this more adversarial than it is by conjuring plots and shadows. Anyone in her position would be trying to figure out where s/he stands and what the options are so she can make a decision. . She's probably trying to either 1.) make an actual decision (a Good Thing) or 2.) figure out how to delay or avoid making a decision because she doesn't like her options.

Goodness knows, you do enough of that to be able to relate to that behavior in spades, don't you? Mmmm?


Her trying to either be super nice and give you "minor" concessions so you'll back off, "have hope again, and let her continue as much of her current lifestyle as she can grab OR being super nasty to try to drive you away.

I suspect she might flip flop between the two. Try the nice -- if you don't take the bait -- flip into the nasty ("See, I knew it wouldn't work...")

Right now, I want you to hold out for honest effort to resolve ALL the problems in a meaningful time period. No more 2 years waiting to figure out if SF will be possible, etc.

Gotta go to class. Good luck,

Mys

Thank you SilverPool,



Got it. Thanks for the clarification.



Sounds straight forward enough. I am guessing it is not as easy as it sounds.



You are right. I have officially not began a plan B based upon the definition. I guess I have just announced that I am going to do a plan B to WW. I must follow up with actions now or be lost in her control forever. I hope this lawyer is compassionate to my cause. Anyone I talk to (other than MB people) seem to be in the mind set of following through to a D now that I am where I am. I don't understand why they can't understand that I am actually doing this to SAVE my M. I can't help but believe that WW and her support group is most likely thinking I am following through with a D as well since this seems to be the popular opinion. I guess this is another thing where my actions will speak louder than my words (or their hear say).



I see. Describing it as a holding pattern makes sense to me. Thanks for that. So, you think she is actually gaining some respect for me? I feel as though she is hating me more.

What is your opinion on her habits changing over night? Her keeping her purse and things in her car until she had a clear opportunity to bring them in and up to her/our bedroom. I can only guess she saw a lawyer, or apartment hunting or job hunting. Also, she has avidly participated in our home owner's association and is vice president of it. She has NEVER missed a meeting in three years to the detriment of a lot of family things including missing important family things. Last night I realized there was supposed to be a meeting at 6:00 pm as well as another meeting tonight at 6:00 PM. I got home at 5:55 PM. I realized all of this at 7:30 PM and she was on our front porch. I opened the door and asked, "Didn't you have an HOA meeting today?" She said, "6:00 PM, but I did not know when you were going to be home." I said, "What about tomorrow?" She said, "I think it may be canceled." I said, "S's parent reading meeting for his school is tomorrow at 6:00 PM." W said, "I would rather go to that." I said, "Is it something we can bring S to?" W said, "I suppose we could bring a coloring book and crayons for him." I then went back inside. I did not know what to think because she could have called me to find out when I would be home. S called me at 4:30 pm. Also, when I could not make it home in time before, she had always brought S and I would pick him up on the way home. It just did not make any sense to me? Is she depressed? What gives? Is she worried about not being seen as a homebody for custody reasons later on? This is a woman that would not miss an HOA meeting in the middle of August when I competed in my first triathlon in our home town. All the neighbors on the block got up and got their kids up to go and tailgate and cheer on four of us from the neighborhood early on a Saturday morning, but my WW could not miss the HOA meeting for something I trained 3.5 months straight for. I found out later that even the rest of the people in the HOA meeting told her to go and she refused.

What do you think is going on here?

All of her text messaging yesterday night throughout the whole night did not really bother me and I found that it was only a fleeting though in my mind initially when her phone would go off. Then I would quickly remind myself that I have let go. It seems this helped me and I became calm again.

Please help me understand what I am going through right now. I reckognize the initial signs of depression in me. I feel as though someone is sitting on my chest when I try to breath. I have the overwhelming feeling that I don't care much about anything right now. I tried to run my normal 5 miles this morning and stopped and walked several sections of it. I just could not get into it both mentally or physically.

What is going on with me?

Thanks,

EL

EL, I just wanted to state quickly that your W is staying home because she' protecting herself from being locked out of her home. She's squatting if you will. I would imagine she's going to be very guarded when it comes to leaving the home to the point where you could change the locks.

Didn't you say her name isn't on the mortgage? I think I'd feel I'd have less legal options of getting back in if my name weren't on the loan for the home.

So how long is this holding pattern going to last? How long is it going to take for you to have all your ducks in a row?

I see your W as a ticking time bomb ready to throw everything she's got at you so she can keep what she has.

What are the steps you need to get things in order? What's your plan?

She might think it would affect custody. It might be advice from her lawyer or friends.



She's weighing her options -- which any reasonble person would do. You need to weigh yours, also. The best way to figure this out is to figure out what she might have been told is possible, probable, and unlikely.



You know, I suspect that your 'feeling sorry' for her is really an extension of you wanting to reach out to her (the woman you love, your wife) for some kind of comfort in this difficult time. It's perfectly reasonable for you to feel sad, depressed, angry, lonely, scared, etc. Try to take care of yourself and be nice to yourself. Try to detach as much as you can.

Mys

Do what Georgia Guy did over the car - he took his wife's car back to the dealer and cashed it out - it was a nice car too. His wife still didn't wake up, but at least he wasn't stuck paying for a car he bought for a princess, but treated him like trash. Princess got dethroned with that one.

Your wife needs to drive a Sentra for a while, me thinks!

PS you can always buy another Lexus if and when she wants to be married to the man paying for the car!

I think this car, along with the home and her living off your good graces, is going to become a source of contention for you. You will resent her seeing her drive off in a car that is that expensive. Heh, I would imagine you already have many of those thoughts today.

If she's done working on the M then all the perks that come with being M'ed to you should be taken away. She only needs what is necessary to survive. Sell the car, get her something less expensive, more economical and inform her the cash saved is now being deposited into a tax-free college fund for your S.

Ok guys,

I went to the lawyers and got the information. Basically I am screwed....

Apparently, Indiana law is not too conducive to MB's style.

Basically, here are my choices:

1) Stay as we are.

I cannot force WW to leave house. I cannot force her to get a job. I can take over handling the money I am making and I could say to her that she now needs to pay for her cell, the car and her entertainment. However, in the courst I will look like a real bad guy and it will come across that I tried to make her make her poor.

The lawyer I spoke with believes WW has already spoken to a lawyer based off some of the things she has already said and done. My lawyer said that if I do the finance thing, WW will most likely file for a D because it is to her advantage. Also, it is to WW's advantage to not get a job right now as she will be awarded more in maintenance. Indiana does not have alimony, but it has up to 3 years of maintenance to allow the homeaker a transition period and to maintain the same life style they have become accoustom too. It is also usually the case that the homemaker is awarded primary custody of the child.

If W files for a D then I will be asked to live elsewhere temporarily by the courts, not her. I will be responsible to not only pay for all the bills, but also all her legal fees. She still will not have to get a job. The only thing different will be that I will be out of the house. Some reality!!!!!

As a side note, WW's lawyer will push for several independent evaluations of our Company, which could cost $15k - $30k each. I will be responsible to pay for all of this as I am the only one with an income.

Our S will be temporarily awarded to WW and stay in our existing home. I may get some slight visitation.

However, my lawyer said that if I could get WW to take a job, this would reduce her maintenance, but she most likely will not do this due to advice from her lawyer.

If I stay as we are right now and if we get to the point of no return (before we/she files for D) and I agree to move out on my own and can get her to agree to a 50/50 split of S's time, and live like this for a minimum of 2 months, the courts will usually award 50/50 custody. Otherwise, it is most likely she will be awarded primary custody and I will just get visitation. The minimum visitation required in this situation is every other weekend and Wednesday nights for dinner!

2.) Legal seperation:

This options sucks. I will be the one to have to live in a different house. I will still have to pay for everything. The only advantage is that there is no more accumulation of marital assets or debts beyond the agreement date. However, I would still pay maintenance, child support and the bills. No life lesson in this choice!!!!!!!

3) Divorce:

I don't have to say how this is really not an option for me.

Basically, my lawyer summed it up that in the short term, I am screwed, but in the long term (beyond 3 years) WW is screwed because maintenance cannot go beyond 3 years.

So, how the ****** do you other people get to actually do a plan B? I feel so stuck and screwed right now. WW is definitely up to something. She has her purse on guard up stairs in her office and is working on getting our financial picture up to date. I believe she is may be moving towards a D. I don't blame her. Heck, if I were in her fog and had such a great outlook ahead of me, I might file!


HELP!HELP!HELP!HELP!HELP!

EL

Tonight we had to go to S's school for a parent "how to help your child learn to read" session. All of us went. S sat in between us. W and I did not say much. S wrote a note "I (picture of a heart) you mommy and dad."

After putting S to bed, I went to WW and said, "I need a check for tomorrow." She said, "we have $300 available and thats it and I still need gas and milk before you are paid again on Friday. Why can't you just wait until Friday when you get paid again?" I did not bring anything up yet regarding finances due to the news I got from Lawyer. It sucks. It is almost like I do not want to poke at the sleeping lion, even though she is legally free to not work, take my money, rip my heart out and hurt our S for the rest of his life. None of it seems fair at all.

EL

Ok this why I offered the advice of a kick #ss lawyer who could help - now you know why.

My son has just moved out of his house and his WW is there with the kids. He stayed and encouraged her to get a job, told her he loved her so much he would not desert her when she was out of work, The real reason, so she could get a mortgage eventually and buy "the house she loved so much", getting him off the mortgage. I wouldn't let him leave then even though she did all she could to "test" his boundaries and neither would our lawyer. He told him - You tell her " if you want a single life, you move out" DS knew he would eventually have to leave, but our lawyer gve him a Divorce in Indiana 101 free of charge, so he could make some decisions. Our lawyer used to sit on the Family Court. Once she is settled in the new career and has come to rely on him being "helpful", and has signed agreements that preclude her getting any kind of career support. he will consider the time to do a plan B. Sadly he really does seem to have given up on her now, but it is early days .....

You cannot do a plan B and safeguard yourself financially unless she leaves, so your best bet is to encourage and help her get a job and an apartment. Sometimes when the law is tough, you have to vary from imediately trying to pursue a fast MB and survive financially, just so you can continue to fix the marriage later.

I call it being in a holding pattern. My son has to watch her go on dates and not react to her angeer or sad stories or his own desire to be with her. He is doing this in order to get her to stay in a job (she was fired for having an affair wuth her boss ( him too) ) and agree to house disposal at a laster date. He is paying her the amount the state would require. Hisi kids go to him every w/e but as he is sooo nice to her, they are not bound to the state restriction. He is paying for her basic cell phone, on my account. He gets to deduct from the child support cost of health insurance, contributions to child care etc). If you email me I will send you the web page to go to work out exactly what you would have to pay. I gave him the same info and our lawyer told him what the legal deal was AND the ways to get around it.

Hlep her to get a job, especailly with training, help her to get an apartment of you want her to move out. Sound as if you are not the one pushing the divorce. Sound as if you are prepared to wait and not push her. Not classic MB, but good legal advice. Also we keep records of what the kids say when we call about what is happening and what she says on the background to them, with the date and time. things like speeding tickets with the kid in the car count for custody. you also need to get her to agree on the busine4ss value, pushing her with a lawyer will surely make her run up bills. Our lawyers advice was to be as nice to her as possible to get her to agree to an amicable separation if she pushed for him to move out. Otherwise don't move out.

Don't bother to email me I will find it and post it here. I am sure they will not mind.

Linda
--

http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/support-guidelines/le18_8_1.html

Here is the link, so you don't have to pay him to find out how much.

This is the financial calculation listing page and you can use the links on the left to see how to do it and the rest of the info.

Linda

Thanks for the info SilverPool,

This is just crazy! How can it be so backwards? Being nice to her will take away from the step I just took. I might as well suck it up and go back into plan A. Eat crow and wait it out for WW's "distraction" to die food poisoning or something. Meanwhile I can get a lobotomy so I can live with myself. Atleast this way I would have full access of my S.

However, I think I have triggered something now with WW. She is way to quiet and accepting of things and seems to be "planning." She thinks she is so sneaky, but she really is a bad liar. We used to joke how she could never really lie well. However, I will give her that she has learned to lie to herself and her sole really well these days. Almost proffessional!

Something else from the lawyer (and she is supposed to be one of the tops in Indianapolis), I mentioned how WW said she is afraid for her safety physically. The lawyer just shut her eyes and shook her head. She said, "This is bstarting to become a disturbing trend I am seeing. WW are waiting for the opportunity such as your standing in their way to get to their car door or to get to the house door and then calling the police and reporting domestic violence. Unfortunately, this is all it takes to get you processed and then you loose custody of your child. Its unfair, but currently effective." I asked her if lawyers are actually suggesting this to people. She said she would like to think they are not, but would be nieve to tell me some were not telling their clients this. She said, "Be VERY careful. You must turn the other cheek to everything. You can expect tape recorders everywhere. Do not take the bate and get into an argument with her. Speak calmly. Do not provoke or give her any excuse."

I can't believe it! I am so screwed. There is no real opportunity for a good MB plan here. I was figuring it out and once I take into account maintenance, child support and a probable monthly payment for what will be estimated as half the marital property, she will be getting almost 65% - 70% of my take home. I will not be able to pay for my house, the business or much of anything. I will be ruined....

EL

(((((EL)))))
I wish that I had some words of wisdom for you, but I am no expert on the law. In Maryland, things are pretty much 50-50 unless one spouse is Stay at Home.

I tell you what, I think there should be some kind of stipulation that, if you can prove your spouse cheated, then the gavel swings in your direction; only in a dream world. I'm so sorry to hear this news, hang in there. Definitely take the lawyers advice to heart and take great care in your actions and reactions.

I read your comment about having trouble during your run; don't think on it too much, it's just all of the bull-crap in your head. Have you tried relaxation exercises. Nothing too hokey, but things like sitting with your back straight, lowering your chin to your chest until you feel a stretch in upper back, then very deep, slow breaths. Also, maybe look up progressive muscle relaxation. I learned about it in college and have incorporated into my life; it helps when your trying to fall asleep. Visualization exercises may help too; imagining your 'happy place' and deep breathing. Sometimes I get carried away in the car and lose focus of my (too fast) driving. Anyhoo, some suggestions, take what you want, leave the rest.

H is waiting in bed for me so this will have to be short.


Aw man, I was afraid something like this might happen. I'm so sorry to hear this!

{{{{{{{{{{{{EL}}}}}}}}}}}

Mys