Ahhhh... those dreaded words we never want to hear.

It took me a long time to decipher relationshipspeak because I never got a copy of the dictionary. But eventually I figured it out.

That is, 2% of the time, "Lets Just Be Friends" means "lets just be friends". However, 98% of the time, "Lets Just Be Friends" means, "I'm breaking up with you, I never want to see you again, you disgust me, but I'm using friendly terms so you don't think I'm a bad person".

Personally, I have never had a more than casual relationship end up in a friendship. I have my doubts about the 2% and think maybe its something you only hear about in tabloids next to the pictures of Big Foot having coffee with Aliens.

So, I'm throwing out the question to the MB community. Have you been able to maintain a friendship with someone who was once more than a friend. AND, how did you do it?

In a word? NO!

I will say, I have spoken to the 2 guys I've dated since divorce, and the conversations were genuine/friendly, but, there are still feelings there, for me anyway.
I don't avoid them, but as far as being friends goes, its much easier for me to keep it very simple, and go on my way.

I think after a break up, we need to have time alone. Time to get over that relationship. I don't know that friendship is possible until some time has passed. Until then, feelings are too raw.

Best to you!
K!

I have been able to have a cordial, friends type of relationship with my ex-husband - don't know how we managed that one, as we were the bitterest of enemies during the divorce - took a while, but things calmed down, and we are civil. I don't see us ever getting together to catch a movie or a beer, but we do speak every now and then.

friends....
hmmm....
let me think on this.

one guy i dated post divorce, no we are not friends. he did not meet very many of my en's so after a couple of months i ended it knowing it would go no where. i did the dreaded let's be friends thing because i thot i could with him. but, no... he got a little whacko on me when he found out i was dating someone else (several months later) and i had to block him from my email and my messenger services.

a different guy, we are still friends. but... we did not really date. we were friends for a very long time and had both ended relationships (mine my marriage). we thot we would try the "friends with benefits" thing knowing that we would probably not take it any further, and what would it hurt to just fill those needs for eachother? well, first off he is like 11 years younger than me. yes, flattering trust me. but, 2 different maturity levels going on there. second, i just couldn't do it. i need to be in a relationship to be sexual with someone. more than friends. my emotions were a freakin mess after taking that step with him. i cried for days. my separation from my ex was still too raw. it was a mess. but he and i talked, and yes, we still remain actual freinds to this day. i see him as nothing other than a friend, and he in fact just got engaged. and i am happy for him.

but, for the norm, i agree with your 2% theory. for the norm, it is hard to remain friends unless the breakup was completely mutual.

mlhb

best phrase ever uttered: "Find yourself a friend you haven't slept with"...

AGG

oops

ya know agg, you NEVER cease to amaze me...
i do believe a read a post of yours to big guy that had the saying "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone"
is this the tight a**ed stick in the mud agg that i have come to know and hate, i mean, love? *wink* lol

and now this little saying from you...
where do you come up with these things.. and why doesn't this side of you come out more often?? have you been drinking? lol cuz if you have, you owe me one! pass me a vodka and cranberry please...
mlhb

I never cease to amaze me either <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I didn't say that, a friend of mine said that, and I haven't slept with her, so all is consistent <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.


Oh, I gotta a lotta more!


No, you know what they say - "don't drink and post".. Ooops, lookie here, another gem just popped out <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />:).

AGG

LOL such a funny man!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

good ones agg...
maybe you should drink and post.. i bet it would be really funny! hahaha

mlhb

Isn't English language amazing.
FWB? I call 'that thing' - lover. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
If he's a bit friendly of course. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I had. A long time ago, let me remember <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

You can do it if both of you have no romantic/sexual feelings left for each other, and if no damage done, was a 'fair-play', and you both concluded that you suit each other much more as a friend than as a bf/lover/etc.,
i.e. that both of you gain more by being 'just friends'.

yeah, well b2m, no matter what it is called it did NOT work for me! lol

i am just not cut from that cloth.
and i am glad i am not.
mlhb

I have several former boyfriends that I am just friends with. We talk often, hang out sometimes -- they're great and I'm very happy for them when they have a new love interest and they are very respectful of my relationship.

And I have a couple that think they are just friends with me but really want something more than that so I don't spend time with them, but will chat with them if they call.