I am new here, and am hoping for some unbiased impressions.
I live overseas, and recently married (in May). My wife is from central Europe, and we live together in the UK. She and her young son moved to the UK after we married to live with me.
My wife is a very affectionate and intelligent woman who has supported herself since she was 18 and her ex-husband decided having a young child around was not fitting into his life-style.
She gave up her job to marry me and move to the UK.
Within the first month of her moving in with me, I found an email chain on our computer between her and an "ex-boyfriend". The comments shared were affectionate, but nothing sexual. It was clear that the man knew about me being in her life, but she was using terms of affection toward him still (they don't translate perfectly into English).
When I confronted her, she assured me it was over, and she only spoke to him in this manner because he had threatened to commit suicide in the past and she did not want this on her conscience.
She saw how serious I was about this situation and that I was very visiably upset by the event.
I was very direct and asked many questions about if they had had any physical contact during the time she and I had been engaged (the prior 8 months). It would be easy for her to have an affair as we were in different countries most of the time...
She promised me that there was nothing there and she had seen nobody romantically after we had started dating.
Anther related item: most of her close friends in the past have been men. Is is being unjust or jealous of me to talk to her about this making me feel uncomfortable in the future? She interacts well with women, and I would definitely prefer that she socialize with other women, not men...
This event has been a barrier to my complete happiness for the past 4 months, and I need to get over it. Everything else in our relationship feels right, but I feel so betrayed still when I think of her words to this man... When I can actually put this out of my mind, my life is wonderful and I feel so loved and in love. But on occassion, I wonder if I am being naive and silly - or paranoid and jealous...
She promised me that she does not call or SMS him or send emails. I think she believes I am spying on her and watching her computer and phone activity somehow (which I am not). I do not want this distrust between us.
I have not mentioned this to her for several months, I told her I would try to forget all about it, but I can not...
How should I get this behind me? Or, should I worry more?
Thanks for any advice!
