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#1758807 10/16/06 03:21 PM
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 2
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tenchi Offline OP
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Well my wife broke the news that she had an affair on me ... I am so badly hurt but also at the smae time i have also forgiven her. She says she is willing to work things out being that that is what i truely want but i have done some emotional rolercosters to her in the past and torn her away witch i am sure that is one of the many reasons she had the affair. I need some help in how to support her and guide her back to me and if there is anything at all i can do for her she tells me she needs time to open back up to me if she even can i am so scared that she won't open up to me again. Please if anyone can give some good advice on helping me through this that would be so awsome thanks so much.

Tenchi

tenchi #1758808 10/17/06 07:08 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
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there is a ton of good advice on this forum and in Dr. Harley's writings here and in his book, Surviving . . .

Start reading and welcome to MB.

Larry

tenchi #1758809 10/25/06 04:23 PM
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Tenchi,

I feel you pain, trust me.

How long ago was the A exposed? The reason I ask is you mention you forgive her. I can tell you that, unfortunatley, you dont, not yet anyway. I know you are full of good intentions, I did the same thing, I prematurely forgave my W. Then I looked into it further and discovered the real definition of “forgiveness”.

To forgive, one must be willing to fully accept what took place and be comfortable with not discussing it any further. This is an area I have been studying and struggling with for quite some time for several reasons; 1) my W would like me to forgive her and 2) it is a sin to not forgive.

Are you looking into help? Have you purchased “Surviving an Affair” His Needs Her Needs” “Love Busters”, etc.?

Is your W willing to visit this site? Maybe even post at some point?

2LLP

Last edited by 2LLP; 10/25/06 04:28 PM.

BS(me)-41
FWS(wife)-39
D-11
D-13
S-15
Dday-1 10/05/05
Dday-2 06/02/06
Dday-3 07/14/06
Married - 17 years, together 23
My story - http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...rt=1&PHPSESSID=

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