Okay, my H and I are both 22, we have a 2 year old son, we have been married for 2 1/2 years. I love him and want to be married to him, he says he loves me but doesnt think he is in love with me.

A little background,My H has a hard time accepting he is a husband and father at 22. we got married when I was 4 months pregnant. I married him cause I love him, and thought he loved me. Come to find out he just wanted to do the right thing.

We seperated 7/3/05, got back together a couple of days later because he wanted to work things out.

Seperated again 10/14/05, for a few days, but we lived seperate for a few weeks just to make sure we were doing the right thing and we both decided to make it work.

He left again 6/8 and filed for divorce 6/9. I recieved papers 6/14, called his lawyer on 6/26 to tell her to proceed with whatever she needed to do, she then calls my H to relay the message that things are going forward and he wants to wait and try and make things work.

We have not lived together since June and we have both thrown the D word around as if it was nothing. Well, Last friday he says he called his lawyer because he just doesnt see where things have changed.

Last night he called and asked me what I want. I told him I love him and want to be married, but if he doesnt feel the same way then I dont want to be married. He says he has no clue what he wants, his head is packed full of things and is just confused. *side note* I have tried to get him to attend marriage counceling with me and he will not. I think it would help tremendously.*

I suggested last night since he wont attend a session with me, that he go to a church, any church, and talk to a pastor, or go to a councelor. I told him that he needs someone on the outside to help him sort through everything in his head.

I told him they will not tell him what to do, but they will at least get all his thoughts out on the table and out of his head so he can see them.

I told him that he needs to ask himself the same question I asked myself, Can I live without him, and the answer is no doubt, not do I want to live without him, and that answer is no way.

He really is very confused and I wish I could help him, cause all this together one day, not the next is really hurting us. I feel like each time it happens it takes a piece of us away.

If anyone has any advise on what they have done, things that might help him figure out what he wants, anything at all would help.

Obviously a big part of this problem are your ages and the fact that this marriage was pretty much imposed upon both of you due to the circumstances. I wish there was an easy way for you both to tell what you want out of life and what is the best thing to do. The fact is you can only decide for yourself what is right for you. Your husband has to make this determination for himself and until he does outside pressure on him will only result in future resentment on his part. His decision has to be free and unbiased, and sadly that decision may not be the same as yours. I do agree that all this indecision is detrimental to both of you and to your child.

One thing I will say though is that this is a decision that needs to be made now. You both owe it to each other and to your child to go forward in a fashion that is stable and one you both can be committed to maintaining.