First I must say that I am new here, but I have been lurking for some time. I have to see if there is someone that can help me ease my pain or not.

My wife of nine years recently (4 months ago) came to me and told me she was moving out, and that she didnt know if she loved me anymore. She moved out and things seem to get a little better, and she and I were maybe on the right track. We were still spending nights together, and doing things with the kids, and things with each other and so on. But after a few well placed arguments, we started to drift apart again. She started coming over less and less. I started bugging her more and more. FInally she stopped coming over all together. I only see her now when the kids are involved. I then told her that I was going to start dating (only to make her jealous), and the night that I finally went on a date, she smoked a whole pack of smokes on 4 hours. Nervous much? She also called me that night to come over. Well, we were still talking and being friends at least. I was giving her space, and still talking from time to time. I then realized that I wasnt ready to date. It was then that I found out that SHE was now talking to a guy on the phone, and sometimes at her work. She works in a little corner store. Since then she will not talk to me for more than a few secs, and she usually gets pretty upset with me if I call her. I have recently realized that I am hopelessly and horribly still in love with her. I told her and he answer is simply, sorry. I dont know what to do.. Is this really over? Is there still hope? What can I do to help? I know.. hopeless questions with hopeless answers.
Also, we have 4 kids together...
Glen

Why is it we always want what we can't have?

I feel your pain, I think most guys who's wives have made the decision to divorce them have had pretty much the same reaction. Dr. Harley's writings really helped me to understand what was going on in my life and helped me to realize exactly what mistakes I'd been making. But the shame of all this is that once a woman makes up her mind like this you most likely won't be able to change it by trying to convince her of the depth of your love or the rightness of your cause. Peruse the part of this site that pertains to Dr. Harley. He can help you far more than me, and you just might learn something.

Good luck.

Once a woman gets to the point of no return, ie; finds another mate, your chances are usually slim to none. Figure out what caused the fights, and if she is willing to talk to you dont get defensive or insecure about her having another guy in her life. Invite her out for coffee, and if she dosent take you on the offer, then just let things lie where they may.