I have been married for 14 years. My husband doesn't keep
his word!!! He got involved with an marketing company. He asked me if I would like to do it with him. I told him that it was not something that I would be interested in. But I support him. I up front told him that I don't like asking people to buy things etc and that I will not get involved with this company. He said that he understands my position and that he is ok with this. He is having a hard time getting people to sign up for this company and is now angry with me because he says I am closed minded and would not ever give this company a chance. I feel like he always turns things around for me to be blamed. I am very upset with him right now. I had a feeling that he would some how make this into me not be supported!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Help I don't know how to handle this in a nice way.

First of all try not to take it too personal. That might help.

Your husband is frustrated. It really has little to do with you.

A frustration is when you have a desire/want, and something is blocking you from getting it. A frustration is a desire, blocked.

When a body produces an emotion like frustration, it also produces thought processes. These go together. So when your husband's frustration occured, lots of thoughts flooded his head: justifications for the feelings, or victimization thoughts. Blame.

There can also be anger.

Then he will have even more self-serving thoughts surface--an attempt to justify the anger already present. The rule is "To express anger, a person must place the other person in the wrong." It is a foolish rule, but very human none-the-less.

Here are some of my favorites:

You are trying to hide things from me.

Why doesn't anyone tell me what is going on?

You did that to hurt me.

Your husband's behavior was reactive behavior. All reactive behavior is always much larger than we intend it to be.

When this happens in your marriage the worst thing you can do is 'react' back. What you want to do is validate your husband's frustration without taking responsibility for it.

My husband does the exact same thing, often!
I don't have any advice, but I want you to know that you aren't alone and to keep strong.
I know how upsetting it can be, especially when they turn everything around.
I'll send you lot's of hugs for strength!!!
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