mcp - Your husband hasn't moved out because he is eating up the scenario of having TWO women who want him. It's a great set up for him and you can be sure he will keep this up for as long as he possibly can.

Don't try to manipulate him into what you want. If you want him to move out, then tell him that and help him pack his bags. If you don't want him to move, then that's fine too. But don't move out yourself unless you are certain you are ready to divorce and possibly lose everything since you can be hit with abandoment if you leave.

You cannot do Plan B while he's still in the house, but you sure can do the 180. Here it is:

THE 180:

1. Do not pursue, reason, chase, beg, plead or implore!

2. No frequent phone calls

3. Do not point out good points in marriage

4. Do not follow spouse around the house

5. Do not encourage talk about the future

6. Do not ask for help from family members

7. Do not ask for reassurances

8. Do not buy gifts

9. Do not schedule dates together

10. Do not spy on spouse

11. Do not say "I Love You"

12. Act as if you are moving on with your life

13. Be cheerful, strong, outgoing and attractive

14. Don't sit around waiting on your spouse – get busy, do things, go to church, go out with friends, etc.

15. When home with your spouse, (if you usually start the conversation) be scarce or short on words

16. If you are in the habit of asking your spouse his whereabouts, ASK NOTHING

17. You need to make your partner think that you have had an awakening and, as far as you are concerned, you are going to move on with your life with or without your spouse

18. Do not be nasty, angry or even cold - just pull back and wait to see if spouse notices and, more important, realize what spouse will be missing

19. No matter what you are feeling TODAY, only show your spouse happiness and contentment. Show spouse someone they would want to be around.

20. All questions about marriage should be put on hold, until your spouse wants to talk about it (which may be a while)

21. Never lose your cool

22. Don't be overly enthusiiastic

23. Do not argue about how they feel (it only makes their feelings stronger)

24. Be patient
25. Listen carefully to what your spouse is really saying to you

26. Learn to back off, shut up and walk away when you want to speak out

27. Take care of yourself (exercise, sleep, laugh & focus on all the other parts of your life that are not in turmoil)

28. Be strong and confident and learn to speak softly

29. Know that if you can do 180, your smallest CONSISTENT actions will be noticed much more than any words you can say or write

30. Do not be openly desperate or needy even when you are hurting more than ever and are desperate and needy

31. Do not focus on yourself when communicating with yur spouse

32. Do not believe any of what you hear and less than 5% of what you see. Your spouse will speak in absolute negatives because they are hurting and scared

33. Do not give up no matter how dark it is or how bad you feel

34. Do not backslide from your hard-earned changes

What proof do you both have that it is HIS child? I know of OW's who get preggo and blame the paternity on the WS while the child belongs to another OM. Hm.... I would certainly question her claim. Demand a paternity test. I hope $$ has NOT been exchanged for this OC.

L.

Orchid, the men nearly ALWAYS believe the OW when she says the child is his. Hopefully MCP's hubby will not assume paternity and will insist on DNA. Thankfully some states require it now when the parents are not married.

How are you, MCP?

....and the OW's count on that stupidity. You remember the OW's story in my case right? PBR(PsychoBabbleRabbit)? She earned that name because at 45 she claimed preggo 3xs and wanted $$ for prenatal care withOUT proof of pregnancy. The yucky thing is in California, I would have had to pay for it because I carried the medical insurance. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Stupid OW. I demanded proof and wouldn't take her pee on a stick as proof. LOL!!

Anyways, the lesson learned is to ask questions and raise as much doubt as possible. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

JMHO,
L.

Well .. he hasn't moved out as he said he was going to. I have told the kids about the A. I have NOT told them about OC. I have told WH that he needs to have DNA done. Even if he leaves me, he still needs to protect himself and needs the proof. I need the proof. He's assuming that it is his. When I asked how he can be positive ... his reply, I could say that about ours too. Whatever, complete idiotic statement. I was not an OW ... I was your wife.

Anyhow, my kids are sooooooo angry.

I am still keeping with Plan A for now. I've only been doing it for 2 months, and I can go awhile longer. It is making a difference and he is seeing a difference.

Thanks for your help and Orchid, I LOVE TRUEHEART'S LETTER!!! I am going to give it to WH to read. I know there are no pictures, but I think he can handle it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />)

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> Too funny, mcp!