Post deleted by Ley76

Ley,

Let's see you marry a "boy" of 23-24. You nag him. You boss him around. You complain because he is not making enough money (sure way to make him feel good). And then he does what?

Withdraw from you. I cannot figure out why he would do that can you? So he withdraws and you yell some more, and you throw him out.

Oh and your way of handling it is to have an affair. Have you told him yet? You should, I suspect the calls may stop or they just may change tone, what do you think?

So the question is do you want to be married? You need to end the affair. You need to be honest with him. You need to understand that a lot of what has happened is because of YOUR actions.

You don't feel anything because you have not accepted the fact that you have hurt another human being badly, and that human being was a man you claimed to love. When you start to realize what you have done. When you start to realize that he probably did and does love you, but not your behavior, then you just might feel something.

If you decide you need some marriage advice please come back, this site can help, but you need to be honest with that boy.

Think about it.

God Bless,

JL

Thanks Jl for keeping it real. I never bossed him. but nag I did. I admit it, but I was really working on the relationship when he started hanging out all night. Or atleast I thought that. yes he is young, but he also chose to get married and people keep telling me to give him a chance he will grow up, but all I asked is that he not stay out all night, I really dont feel that this is much to asked. So yes he may withdrawl, but what happen to telling your spouse how you feel. I love this board.

Ley,

Have you told him you had an affair? If you want him to commit, he needs to know to what he is committing and that is rebuilding and recovering a marriage where the vows have been violated by you and actually him as well, but not in the same way.

Let me ask you a question. Have you given him a reason to stay home? Have you made being around you fun? Do you have fun when you are around him? You probably don't know this, but you will be most attractive to him when YOU are smiling and having fun as well. Your enthusiasm in live, in the home, in the marriage and yes in bed will draw him like a magnetic.

So if you are going to work on yourself, make darned sure it is done with enthusiasm, smiles, and a sense of enjoying your life. He will see it, he will feel it and it will draw him, trust me. But, more than anything he very likely feels soooo inferior to you, like you are his mother and frankly most of us guys love our mother's but we are NOT IN LOVE with our mothers. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Do you understand what I am saying?

Please think about this and then post with your ideas for a plan to make this work.

God Bless,

JL