Hello I am new here and wanted to post. I posted on general questions also. Bear in mind that I am a WW but H does not know. Sorry for length. About 2 years ago I saw an old friend from grammer school, Im 30 so that was a long time ago. He had always told be since we were younger that he wanted to marry me. Ha Ha. We started dating and it was cool. We have so much in common and I feel that he understands me. Ok since honesty is always the best policy here. I will say that when we started dating he was fighting a case in court and we were not sure if he was going to jail. Well he lost and got sentenced to a year. I told him that I could wait, and no problem.
Well I was, going to see him, talking to him. Then I guess the frustration of being in jail got the best of him and me because I broke it off. But not the nice way, I just cut my phone off and would not answer any of his letters.
In the mean time I met my now husband. Known him for years but always felt that he was young. He is 5 years my junior. I did not marry him thinking he would change, he was going from job to job, but I was more concerned about the way he treated me. He cooked cleaned, we hung out together it was great. He did tell me that he would go back to school and that made me happy.
well 1 year came and went. I began to get frustated becasue he was not trying to better himself and I felt that he was comfortable. So we argued and argued. He stated that he was not getting enough affection, and I tried but I was frustated. Well about 2 months ago he began not coming home and not answering his phone. I told him this was unacceptable. he continued. I yelled screamed threatended, Nothing. Finally i packed his bags and told him he had to leave.
Now for the two years we have been together I had never cheated, but I began talking to my ex and it started a EA. I really feel that I still care for him and wish that I would have waited. Then the EA turned PA once. Now he wants me to divorce H and be with him. So know i am forcing myself not to see him, but it is so hard.
I think I never really stopped loving him, but brought H into my mess. H stated that he want to come home, and that all he was doing when he was not coming home was"makin money" sure I believe that. i think i already know what you all are going to say, bit I had to get it out. I know that I am wrong, but I do not feel bad. WHY?
