It's been a 1.5 years since my wife and I separated. We officially divorced 8/2005. I just want to affirm to everyone who reads these messages that it does get better. I can't imagine anything worst then going through a divorce. It has to be the worst thing imaginable. I still think of my EX at odd times of the day it seems. It could be just a flickering memory or something that catches my eye that reminds me of her. It wasn't until a couple of weeks or so that I actually thought about dating again. I still go into my "shell" sometimes and imagine just not trying anymore. I have a hard time struggling between if I want to date or be single. My main concern is that I’m not getting any younger, and while for the most part I don’t mind being single, it seems there is pressure from society, friends, etc to be a couple.

The hardest thing about this process is growing out of your normal environment. For instance, this past weekend I went to a big party among people I didn't know, except for a buddy of mine. I was pretty nervous meeting, talking, and listening to people who I didn't have a history with. It's something I'm not quite used to yet. While married I would have stayed home under similar circumstances but I'm trying to get out and develop better social skills which I know takes time. Talking to girls one-on-one is still awkward for me. Sometimes if an attractive woman starts talking to me or sits down near me I'm more apt to move then try and converse with her.

A lot of things I do still render self doubts. While I may think of myself being in the best shape, physically, mentally, and socially, I still can't help but see myself as damaged goods. Most of my friends are younger, 26+, who don't have kids and are not married. Although I don’t have kids I feel old sometimes, and feel a little out of place, especially in regards to others in my age group or trying to fit in with a younger crowd.

I’m contemplating leaving my “marriage house” and possibly moving to a bigger city such as Dallas or Seattle simply to meet more people and have a change of environment. I feel stuck in my city of 200k, having lived here for 8 years.

I’m wondering if anyone has made a conscious decision to move to another city post-divorce and if it made any differences in your development.

Since nobody has responded to your question, I'll jump in and share my experience. It's not quite what you are contemplating, but might help anyway.

I live in a large metropolitan area, but it is quite spread out and some areas are hard to get to depending on where you are. It's very possible to move to a different part of town, and truly be in a whole new place. Never X paths with those who live elsewhere.

That's what I did. I moved to a different city that is part of the same overall metro area, but is not easily accessible from my old city. I'm about 25 miles from my old neighborhood now. I'm actually lots closer to work now. I hang out in different places, and it really feels like I moved away. I also bought a house that is radically different in style from the old house, so my living situation feels very different too.

I would do it again. I am a person who moves on when I move on. I do tend to change scenery as part of it, and really think this approach works best for me.