I just learned from my attorney that my divorce was final on Oct 10. Apparently it was signed that day, but I didn't find out until a couple of days ago.

Mixed feelings! Not about the D, but about whether I caved too much and whether I got screwed out of more $$ by agreeing to settle.

My XH was going to make me go to court to fight for any more, and that would have cost me an additional $10K that I might not have been able to recover anyway. In the end, the decision was based on trying to get something out of it, rather than risk losing more.

I'm angry. I hope I am not ALWAYS angry about this. I'm also relieved that I can get on with my life now.

FYI - we settled it in mediation, but not without lots of nasty transactions and deceptive, manipulative behavior. But then, this isn't news to anyone here. That's how it works in divorces. Things that would be considered fraud and violation of contract, etc. in any other legal action, seem to be fair game in divorce. So, I lost everything I had when I met him, including all that was supposedly protected in the prenup. But, atleast I will have my sanity! Someday, anyway.

Deja--
It reminds me of a parable--"We Build Snowmen in July and cry when they melt in August". I am married at this time but it took me 3 times to get it mostly right. I think sometimes we ignore red flags in a person or assume whe can change them after we are married. Nothing could be futher from the truth. What you see is what you get and what you refuse to see can really bite you in the rear. Many people warned me not to marrhy my 2nd wife and I thought they didn't know what they were talking about. They did. It never fails to amaze me that people are willing to fight and lose everything to the lawyers to make a point. It is as if they are still emotionally tied to their partner. The prudent thing would be preserve as much capital for each person and let go. Sounds like your ex-h is not at that stage. When you are at the midnight of life, hold on there will be a dawn and if there isn't it does not matter because we are ALL in for it then!!!

Johoman

Deja Vu - Great to read your post here and at Tough Love. You have come out of a long nightmare that would have worn down many others! Could you explain this:
How did this happen? Would it be possible to post here (or start a new one with focused title) about this? It might help others who may be going through a divorce and have a prenup. I always thought they were a little more iron-clad, so you've got me wondering about it.