8 weeks ago W asked for divorce. Counseling 3 weeks, she still wants a D but will let me stay. I'm trying to meet EN, but her defences are up and she is limiting contact.

While doing laundry I noticed a couple of small white spots in her panties, (and two other pairs thereafter). Small maybe a drop or two. Is this normal w/out A. Not mine she has cut off all SF.

Ladies please help, I know their are seamen tests but if not an A causing this then lack of trust may blow the entire M.

Also, i'm lost how to proceed. If A then plan-A, but if not then how do I break down the barriers? I love W, and she thought/thinks i had an A, (untrue).

Dont freak out anyone.....the white stuff could be feminine discharge, or it could be the real thing....(OM). Have you seen this before in her undies?? It would be very awkward for you to ask her Im sure.

One red flag I see in your comments......your W thought/thinks you had an affair....why? I know my EX always threatend to leave me if I had an affair on her....she was the only one that ever did have the affairs. I think its a subconscious thing the waywards do to put off the blame of an affair on someone else. Either that or to try and justify to themselves why they want or are having an affair.

I don't know much about your situation but offer this to you: Look for other signs she's cheating. If she's having an A then you will probably find evidence of this through other means. Check your computer records, e-mail, browsing history, cell records, phone records, clothes pockets.

Go through her purse when she has her guard down. Check the bedroom and her things.

Normally, this would be disturbing behavior, but in the context of infidelity, it is normal and done for your own protection.

I feel for you. I went through a phaze after I found out of my ex's infidelity of doing all the things I described. I installed a keylogger program into the computer and that's how I uncovered the infidelity.

I can't help you with the panty thing. Hopefully some ladies here can help with that. Now, you know what it should look like and can probably get a visual guess, but I don't know of any test kits out there that you can buy. I'm sure a google search could dig something up.

Good luck. This whole time period sucks.

Not to be yucky, but that could be any number of "feminine" things- don't jump to conclusions. No offense, but if I were having a PA, I certainly would check for those kind of things and do my laundry myself or throw them away. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I suggest the "normal" spying strategies- keylogger, GPS, PI if you can........

verify verify verify. It's important to gather facts before you confront. ANy other reasons you suspect an A? Why does she think you had an A????? I agree with StartinOver, may be a deflection tactic- the best offense is a good defense?? (is that how that goes? I'm not really good with sports metaphors... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />)

I guess it could be semen....but it could just as easily be the normal residue that ladies leave behind. If you know anything about the "Billings Method" of contraception....it's based entirely on the natural changes in feminine discharge over the course of the month. After ovulation, it can be particularly noticeable. Please don't jump to conclusions....it's probably just "clitty litter".

lol @ star*fish! Very true. It's a pretty normal thing for women.