I am new to this board, and I have read nothing but kind words here, no matter if you are the betrayer ( like me) or the one that was betrayed. I have been to other sites, and theres so much negativity going on. Here, i read alot of " sorry you are going thru this too", and things like that.<BR>I appreciate everybody's non-judgemntal attitude, and positive responses. You are all helping alot of people and making this easier for them to make it thru their day. I hope this keeps up :-) Thanks

Hi Patty,<P>I've been reading here since March and I can guarantee you that the sincerity and helpfulness of the people here hasn't waivered a bit. This site is definitely a godsend.<P>In reference to your post the other day about your H's anger. Have you spoken to him about therapy? If so, what is his opinion? You two sound like you could really use it. There's nothing better than a truly remorseful betrayer. I hope he can learn to take advantage of the situation and possibly build a stronger future with you. A lot of the people here would give anything to have their spouse feel as you do. Of course, there are plenty who would leave after learning of the affair. But, I suppose your H would have left already had he wanted to. He's probably right where he wants to be, he just needs some assistance to get past this anger. I hope he can find it. Take care.<P>------------------<BR>The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.<BR>Helen Keller

He is the one who has suggested counseling, and I have been saying I will go when I am ready, well, looks like I am ready, he has been. I have to remener that he is here because he loves me, and wants to be here, and just knowing he wants the counseling, it shows that he wants this marriage to work. I have already tried some of the advice here, and have been thinking so much about everyone's advice, it makes so much sense. It is helpful to hear from people who have been there. I guess I have been nervous about counseling, just having to sit there and tell a stranger that you ave done an awful thing, and go into details with a stranger, but if it will be helpful, and I am sure it will, I am going to go. Thanks<BR>Distrusting :-) I appreciate your words.

Whenever I hear that a couple is going to get counseling, I hear those magic little bells ringing like when an angel gets their wings. I'm so glad to hear that he wants it, and that you're now willing. As a Psych student, I wholeheartedly agree with therapy. It can put so much into perspective. <P>Just be sure to find a therapist that you're comfortable with. When I was calling around inquiring about prices, something about the sincerity in our therapist's voice showed me she was the right one. A decision I have never regretted, despite all of the money spent on her . She often goes well over the hour that we pay for. We've been there as much as two hours before. It shows that she truly loves her job. Anyhow, I would probably be gone by now if it weren't for her. <BR>It may take some time, but don't settle for just any therapist. Maybe you would be more comfortable with phone therapy. Something that Dr. Harley has. His prices are comparable to person to person therapy and from other's experiences, he appears to be very good. Just a thought. When you call, see if they will meet with you for a few minutes, so you can get a feel for how they are. That can really help, especially before you fork out a lot of money, then find out they're not right for you. And if you have a bad experience, or you don't like the therapist, it could sour you to therapy in general. Something like that could be detrimental to your marriage. Especially if one spouse is a bit reluctant initially, as you are.<BR> <BR>Good luck to you. And don't chicken out. Start making those phone calls tomorrow! <P>------------------<BR>The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.<BR>Helen Keller

thank you. :-)