Well, it's not looking good. We went out to a cabaret on Saturday night, and to cut a long story short, I think I realize why H doesn't have any reaction to my infidelity. He hasn't admitted it yet, but at one point I caught him with an ex, to whom he had cheated on me with while we were still dating, but living together. It wasn't the normal, "Hey, how ya been?" chat either. It was quite intense, and both of em looked like they were caught with their pants down when I approached them. So, he says it's platonic. BS it is. That's what he said 5 months ago when I caught them together too, and I believed him then because she had just had a baby, and was living with her boyfriend, whom I had met. Now, she has left him, and has the baby, and it's no doubt she is clinging onto my H. And you know what?!? I don't care. Not a lot anyways. She can have him for all I care right now. I am wore out of all this crap, and this farce we call a marriage. I GIVE UP!!! I really do! Too little for too long on the recieving part, and too much for too long on the giving part.<BR>I'M DONE!!! ALL DONE!!! I'm going to wait out the winter, and take my time getting out of this, and finding a place. I know there will be money coming in in spring, and that's what I'll use to get a new place. <BR>Thank you for all your words of kindness and support, but I really can't see this one working out. I appreciate that at least you people were here for me when I needed someone. I wish you all the best in your lives.<BR><P>------------------<BR>~Bren~<BR> Nothing will happen today that God and I can't handle together.

Benna: In anger you have planned a future, this type of planning can only bring failure. Sure if you must leave you must leave, but sit down and think it out. I might even go so far as to tell your H that this is your plan, so as to give him a chance to fix what is wrong before you abandone him.

Benna - I agree. Since you want to wait 'til spring anyway - work while you wait - can't hurt, right? Talk, be honest, let him know how you feel as of right now. Read and think. You'll know what's best for you. And then you do it.<P>Don't leave here, ok? It could be a long winter. We'll be here.<P>Lori

--<p>[This message has been edited by Benna (edited October 05, 1999).]

Paul<BR> Then how about you come over and tell him what my plans are, if you'd go that far? The way things are going lately, we need a mediator...actually more like a referee...To tell him I plan on leaving...might be more harmful to me than helpful to the situation.<P>------------------<BR>~Bren~<BR> Nothing will happen today that God and I can't handle together.

Bren,<P>All I've got for ya is a great big<BR> <P>I'm sorry things aren't good. I know this whole thing has been just crappy for you. Whatever you do, I hope you continue to post and hang around here. There's alot of time between now and spring. You never know what'll happen.<P>--andy<BR>