My girlfriend (we're in limbo at the moment) and I have been dating for 3 1/2 years. We began dating in high school and I am now a jr. and she is a sr. in college. We broke up when I moved away (3 hours) to college. We dated other people and dated each other again then saw some other people again. We have always been extremely happy when we could actually live in the same place, but the distance for such a long period has always been so hard. I have had to study abroad for the past 2 summers and this has made life even more difficult. Our breakups have been somewhat messy with some hurt feelings on both sides. We had been back together for almost 2 years and I thought everything had been worked out. We have been very happy and a stronger couple than in the past. Though we were not yet engaged we had talked about every detail of our future life and were only waiting on graduation for marriage. When school began again this year, about 3 weeks in, I suddenly found myself dumped for reasons that were obviously false. She was almost immediately in another "relationship" with someone and tried to deny this fact. Obviously the distance did not allow each other to fulfill all the emotional needs of each other and she had a temporary replacement for this discomfort. Nasty things were said and I thought this was a permanent end. Now she is back with 3-4 weeks, asking forgiveness, and offering to do anything to work out her own personal problems and to make us work as a couple. She has began seeing a therapist, reading self help books, and is dating absolutely noone until she feels she can be on her own and if her and I can work out. It seems she is willing to change, but I feel extremely conflicted about the entire thing. I would love nothing more than to be happy and create a life with this woman, but the same hurt, anger, and resentment that would come from infidelity and abandonment in a marriage is what i feel. This is compounded by the inability for us to live together in the same place for at least 1 more year and possibily 2. My question is, should i try to make this work, as you reccomend to couples who have already tied the knot, or should i take my losses now and move on before there is a marriage, kids, and other complications to worry about.
Sincerely,
Conflicted and Confused
