hi everyone
I'm pretty new, in fact I just found this website earlier today and have been looking at it. Lots of great stuff on here...well, I have kind of an odd situation and I really wanted your advice. I feel like maybe I am overreacting, but I'm not sure. I have been married now 14 months, but I'm in the service and have been overseas for all of those months except my two weeks of leave. And for the record, we were going to get married and just decided to do it early before I left. Ok. To start off with, a few months ago, I was having a hard time reaching my husband by phone so I checked our phone bill online to see if the phone was even working (as he wasn't answering emails either). I'm nosy and so I looked at it a bit and it seemed to be working and I saw this number that showed up a lot, mostly late at night, for hours at a time. So, I asked him about it and he said it was just a friend of his, but he understood how it would make me feel weird and so he stopped talking to her so much. Well. I was really mad about it because it wasn't like it was an old friend that I knew or anything, it was someone he just met. But he said he wouldn't talk to her, and yes, I know I shouldn't have, but I kept checking the phone records for a while. I didn't see her number on there anymore, so I haven't really thought much of it. Until....earlier this week, I was having the same problem and I couldn't get in touch with him, so I looked at the cell phone again and I saw the same thing, only it was a different number. So, when I finally got in touch with him, I asked him about it and he said, it was a different friend of his. I asked how they met and he said, they met at the club the other week. My husband sings at various clubs in the area, so I understand that he meets a lot of people. I also understand that some are females. This is not a problem for me. What my problem is, is that my husband goes to the club, meets some female and proceeds to call her probably 5 days a week, mostly late at night, and talks to her for a couple hours at a time. He told me that I needed to trust him and that if I couldn't trust him, our relationship wasn't going to work. It's not even about trust for me at this point. It's about the fact that we recently (earlier this year) had a fight about the very same thing and he said he understood how I felt, but now he's doing the same thing again. I feel like this is more a matter of disrespect. I don't know what to say to him. I don't know what to do. I'd like to work this out, but I thought we did already and I don't want to argue about this same stupid thing through our whole marriage. I told him that I wasn't going to call him anymore, that I needed time to think. He asked me why, what was wrong, why didn't I trust him? Am I crazy? Am I over reacting? I'm pretty stressed about coming home, already and I don't know how I should work this out. Can anyone give me any ideas?
