I just got word that my WxH and the OW is coming home over the Christmas holiday. This is the first time they been in the area since they split for Vegas without telling anyone back in April 2004.

I really don't know how I'm feeling about this. I'm finally get my life back together after everything that has been done to me by them. I knew eventually they would comeback to the area to visit, but I feel I'm not prepared for this at all.

After the initial shock of him leaving the area with the OW and filing for a Vegas Divorce, it actually brought peace to me that I wouldn't have to run into them together, like I did a few weeks after he left me and that was the last time I saw him.

I'm not ready to see him again, there is apart of me that never wants to see him ever again (defintely I never want to see her) now there is a chance I could run into him over the holidays, where my emotions are on overdrive. The last time I saw him I was still his wife. There is another part of me that will always love him maybe thats why I'm so confused about this. What do I do if I do run into him, wish him well or just turn away? I'm pretty sure the OW would not let him out of his sight during this visit. Even thought he is engaged to her, she is not his wife yet, so there is still time for him to see her for who is really is.

I heard from a friend he is going to avoid me because he is afraid of my reaction to him or I will make a scene. Since he told me about the A in January 2004, I haven't shown any anger or made any scene in public. My goal was to save my marriage and not to have the OW have the upper hand by showing my anger. Anger would only be hurting me not them. Everyone told me how proud they were of me how I handle the situation and how strong I am. They don't know how many nights I cried and cried and thats why I'm so blessed to have found this board, you have helped me so much during my darkest hours.

I know he is against the very close relationship I have with his family and contrary to his beliefs we never talk about him. The world doesn't revolve around him.

His fear of meeting me in person is all him. He must be carrying so much guilt of what he has done to me that he can't bear seeing me face to face. If their relationship is so wonderful, strong and was meant to be, why are they so afraid of running into me. Cowards. They ran away when they moved to Vegas without telling anyone, not only to keep me away from my WxH but they ran away from the reaction of people once I exposed the A. Which I did tastefully because I wanted to save my marriage.

He is not the same man that I fell in love with and truthfully I don't think I want a man who just runs aways and let a woman control every move that he makes. Personally I feel sorry for them because how can they make a relationship work based on lies.

The only think is that I will be spending Christmas alone. The last few Christmases I spent with his family, which angered him, or more like her. I do know my in-laws and the rest of his family loves me and only want the best for me and I get their love all year long, but it will be hard spending the holidays alone. Knowing my in-laws we will have another holiday celebrations when they are not in town.

I think if you should see him, then I would:

a) ignore him if possible
b) If not possible, if OW is with him, look her up and down and just roll your eyes without saying a thing. Speak civilly like you would to any stranger.