I discovered that my wife was having an A a couple of months ago. Alot has happened since then. .to me anyway. I've rediscovered my faith in Christ Jesus - which had totally wained. I was living my life my way -- and I've renewed my relationship with him and given him control over my life.

My wife is on the "fence" .. we still live in the same house, she upstairs - me downstairs. After finding about the A and confronting her - she told me she wanted a divorce. I was hysterical, there was begging, crying, angry outbursts for the first few weeks - that's when I began crying out to God and seeking him.

I have a peace now that could only come from the Lord - if Divorce is what she wants - I have come to point where I can accept it even though it's not what I want for myself or my 2 year old daughter. I'm loving her now in the Christian way.

She's on the fence now - not totally sure what she wants, she said "she's afraid things won't change" if she gives our marriage a second chance.

I'm still plan A'ing at this moment - but I was thinking about the future, about plan B - if it comes to that. Is this showing God's love? If I cut off all contact with her etc, does this conflict with how Jesus tells us to love our neighbor ..to love others? It seems "wrong" to me somehow, to bail out, it seems like it would be a selfish attempt to manipulate them. I'm just not sure.

It seems to go against my convictions. I need some good advice from another Christian, please help.

"Love bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things."

Can someone help me with this? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Plan B is to protect our love for them when they have acted in a way that not even the love of the Lord can stop destroying it.

Jesus wants us to do whatever we can to preserve our love for our spouse. When they want out, our love is the only lifeline for our M.

Jesus hates divorce more than He would worry about your method of preserving your love for your W, while she comes to her senses on her own, and realises she wants the marriage - and is prepared to work on it.

That is why you do a wonderful Plan A for as long as you have the energy, so she has a long term great husband to remember when she is away from you and all the support she has been taking for granted or not believing.

It gives her something good with which to compare her, eventual - sad and lonely life. This A is of the Devil and his words are cunning and excedingly sweet - he sews doubt into her mind to thwart your love for her. His deeds are evil and without substance, they melt in the hard light of day. They will not stand up to our prayer and her being without the man God sent to care for her.

So I do not think that God minds us preserving our love, while our WS gets a turn at being alone and testing out the Devil as a substitute for a good marriage.

Linda