Pio –The fundamental issue from my POV is that Suzet went to the good doctor and neglected to mention that she is not obeying the absolute rules 1 and 2 but is concerned about #3.
Not true. In my first e-mail to Dr Harley I’ve made my situation to him exceptionally clear and didn’t neglect to say anything. That post also didn’t leave any room for ambiguity.
The good Dr. says #3 is optional and Suzet proudly proclaims "I told you so!".
I didn’t proudly proclaim anything. All I did was giving Dr Harley’s feedback on my e-mail to people who were interested. That’s all.
Even her repost to Dr. Harley sidesteps the issue.
I didn’t sidestep anything. In my 2nd post to Dr Harley I gave him more background on my situation and why me and my H still fail to create extraordinary conditions to ensure that I will not accidentally see the OM again.
The question she should be asking Dr. Harley is whether she and BH have a good chance of success in spite of the fact that OM is still a serious threat to their marriage. That is not the question she asked.
I did ask him this. The 2nd part of my question in my 2nd post to him read as follows:
“do you think there is any hope for total marriage recovery and individual recovery in spite of these personal circumstances and obstacles?”She asked some arcane question about False Recovery.
Yes, I did ask this in the
first part of my question to him. Actually I’ve asked him TWO questions – one about the false recovery and the one I posted to you in the previous paragraph.
Who the heck cares whether she had a false recovery or not. That is past.
care…whether it’s in the past or not.
What is present is the concern.
Yes, I agree…and I’m concerned about that too.
Before I take any interest in what Dr. H says about #3, I want to know for certain that he is well aware that #1 and #2 are not being followed. At least then his answer will have some context.
Dr Harley IS well aware that #1 is not being followed. I made that clear to him in both posts. Therefore his response was in context.
As far as #2 is concerned… my H & I do follow that rule. I would like to know why you assume that my H & I is NOT following #2.
I get the impression that Suzet is still gingerly sidestepping the issue. That 2nd email to Dr. Harley does outline the position she is in albeit with loads of excuses and justifications.
It’s too bad that me and my H’s personal circumstances and obstacles are viewed as “excuses” and “justifications”.
Yesterday Star*fish has posted the following:
[color:"red"]“Americans have a bad reputation around the world because they are clueless about what it feels like to live in any other country besides here....where the opportunities seem endless and changing jobs is easy-peasy. It's easy for us to say (from the land of plenty) to "find another job Suzet!"....but we aren't a small minority living in a violent third world country where jobs are scarce and it isn't OUR children who will go unfed or our bills that will go unpaid. We're spoiled and entitled (and yeah that includes y'all Canucks :-)) The one thing I learned after living in so many different countries was that I wasn't "in Kansas anymore" and the things we take for granted....like job opportunities...are sadly lacking in other parts of the world.”[/color]
Very true…
MEDC –It means leave the country if you can't find work there.
MEDC, in case you don’t know, a person must first
qualify for immigration according to the “point systems” of different countries (skills; qualifications etc.) and secondly a person must have the right
resources available to do this.
Yesterday on another thread,
TogetherAlone asked me whether my H and I have transferable skills and if we have ever considered emigration. My response was as follows:
”Yes, we have looked into this option a few times but not recently. My H has great experience in the IT field but unfortunately never completed his after school studies to obtain a formal qualification in this. Because of this he doesn’t have enough “points” on the “point systems” of most countries to qualify for emigration. I on the other hand have a good tertiary qualification (degree) but lack enough experience in my specific field of study. This has an influence on the “point systems” of most countries too. Also, for emigration a minimum amount of money have to be transferred by the immigrants to the country of immigration and this is our greatest concern since the money value (R value) in my country is [i]extremely low against the $, euro etc. So yes, although we will experience many obstacles with emigration, it is not an impossible option for us.”[/i]
