Sweetheart, it is YOU that is being MORE THAN RUDE...You come here to a site full of people dealing with the pain of infidelity and FLAUNT lying to your BS...THAT is HUGELY offensive to decent people, as ML pointed out...

Here's the thing, if you've chosen to live like this...in a web of deceit, FINE, but do NOT come here and rub it in the faces of victims and other decent people...

And before you go calling me "bitter", which is a HUGE cop out, btw, please note that *I* am the FORMER WAYWARD SPOUSE, so your "bitter bullet" won't work on me, I am simply calling you like I see you...*******************

Mrs. W

fc, it's not "rude" or "hostile" to point out that your behavior is cruel, sleazy and manipulative. It is simply a truthful statement that bothers you terribly to see.

It's not "humane" to cheat on your husband and lie to him. Look in the mirror, dear, for the real source of inhumanity. Your objections are nothing more than a diversion and you know it.

Ignoring your cruel, manipulative behavior has no place on any "service oriented website" that hosts decent people.

It makes me wonder why people come here for support if they seem to "KNOW" beyond a shadow of a doubt that not telling their spouse about their affair is a decision of integrity.

I mean, her marriage must be all repaired and good now, no? And if not, you'd think she'd at least reasonably consider it has something to do with the profound absence of honesty (a true and pure form of intimacy) within her marriage. <sigh>

Mrs.W I didn't come here to flaunt anything nor to gloat over anything. I have paid my dues in the pain category. I was extremely reluctant to tell my story and still haven't told the whole story. I knew and should have stuck with my original idea of not discussing my sitch . I wasn't here for advice, I do not advocate cheating, I do not think lying is the best case scenario and I am not trying to justify anything to anyone.

Big K asked me about my situation and I told him because I normally am polite to those who ask me questions. I have learned my lesson.

I am sorry that you think I am sick and twisted without even knowing the whole story. But that's life.

what does this mean?

You had an affair...You are NOT telling your husband...THAT is the WHOLE story FC...Same song, second verse...Heard it before, will hear it again...Why not take a step towards regaining your integrity??? Tell your husband...STOP Underestimating him and your marriage...Give you BOTH the chance for the happiness that you deserve...

Mrs. W

Pepperband, it means that no one who is involved in a EMA escapes without pain. I am no exception.

Oh, silly me... here I thought it meant that you are * **

Pain over OM/Self...Or pain over continual lying and the betrayal of your husband? Do you have a conscience FC?

Mrs. W

You were a volunteer, dear. Your victim was not.

No Mrs. W I don't have a conscience. I am a typical FWW, I did everything I did only for me, I don't want a happy marriage, I am not willing to do what you think I should in order to regain integrity that I never had. What more do you want from me? Now that I am safely stereotyped you should be happy.

Go find some one salvageable to chew on. I don't have time for this and will go back to researching the decor of a kitchen.

Hmmm...Okay, that's what I thought...Just wanted to be CLEAR...Btw, living with INTEGRITY is AWESOME...You should look into it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W

P.S. You are NOT a FWW...That all important "F" is a MINDSET and MORE and it is EARNED...You have NOT earned yours...FC, you are STILL VERY MUCH a WAYWARD WIFE!!!

But this is not a stereotype at all, but rather a true characterization about *YOU*, based on your ACTIONS. This is NOT the "typical" WW we see around here. They are FORMER WWs and do have consciences and have made amends to their spouses, unlike yourself.

I'm curious about the same statement that Pep is.

So if you wouldn't mind a slight break in the kitchen brainstroming..perhaps you could expand on that?

What I'm seeing is that you feel because your choices hurt you and you suffered as a result of them...that you have in essence paid your dues?

My question about respect, not about hurt.

I am wondering why you will not allow your husband to make his own informed choices whether they hurt or not.

Obviously you can see how from my perspective not only as a BS but as an autonomous adult the assertion that my spouse gets to decide for me in order to protect themselves from the consequences of their own choices [which they ALSO made for both of us]...well this communicates an extreme lack of respect.

Do you respect your H?

Your actions thus far...both your affair and your decision to refuse disclosure don't look respectfull to me. They look like more self protection at his expense.

So...how does the fact that you were hurt by your actions negate your husbands right to know the truth about his own life and his marriage?

Wow Noodle...This is one of those times I was referring to about you the other day-Great Post!!!

Did you by chance have Mexican last night??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I agree
you are no exception

Pep

Or to go one step further, his health.

Have you been tested for STDs since your last sexual contact with the OM? And even then, do you know that tests need to be done 6 mos and 1 - 2+ years post-affair as several STDs can not be detected before then, some life threatening.

And ohh dear lord, please don't respond with "OM isn't that kind of person".

TELL YOUR HUSBAND. Its HIS right to know.

FC,

“And it's a little known fact that when frightened or startled off their perch, vultures first throw up and then fly.”

No, this is not true. It’s an urban legend. Just like keeping adultery secret from one’s spouse is somehow good for them.

Like most raptors, vultures regurgitate to feed their young. When threatened, the parents give their hatchlings a quick feeding, at their own risk and expense, before trying to draw off the threat.

Ugh FC, ugh to your continued lies. Your life remains a lie. Your marriage remains a lie. And your husband’s life remains a lie because of you.

BTW, what are you going to do when he does someday find out? Or asks questions because he suspects something or heard something?

Well, obviously, lie some more, I suppose.

Bleah,


PS: I cannot let you get away with insulting vultures.

Vultures are Raptors. A very noble and intelligent bird. Contrary to popular belief, vultures do not circle over dead or dying animals. They just soar on thermals. They do clean up decaying refuse and prevent the spread of disease.

In Africa the name for Vulture is synonymous with the term applied to love, because vultures are always seen in life pairs, with mother and child remaining closely bonded. Life pairing, bonding, protecting, and care are attributes associated with a vulture. The vulture was thought to be close to the gods who resided in the sky because of its immense size and its ability to soar high up in the sky.

Egyptians considered the vulture to be an excellent mother, and its wide wingspan was seen as all-encompassing and providing a protective cover to its infants. The vulture hieroglyph was a root for the words such as mother, prosperous, grandmother, and ruler.

Adulterers may call me a vulture anytime.