My husband told me in August that he wanted to move out-he wasnt happy and just wanted to be "alone". To make a long story short I found out last week that he is having an "emotional affair" with a woman he built a house for. We have been married for 15 years and have an 11 yo son. She is also married and has 2 little girls. I asked him when I found out to tell her that he will not be having any more lunches with her and that there will be no more phone calls. We work at the same company and I get all the bills. I have been suspicious for a while because of the cell phone bill. I would see that he called her at 6:30 in the morning on his way to work and they would have 69 minute conversations. Not normal.. He denied it all along until I caught him on the cell phone with her at night. He is still calling her and she calls him. I dont know what to do. I pray about it but I dont feel like I get a clear answer. I love my husband and he says he loves me and I believe him. He says he is sorry for what he has done to me but isnt stopping. I read the James Dobson book Love Must Be Tough and it scares me to give him an ultimatum. I asked him what his plans were to live with this woman and her 2 kids?? He said he hadnt thought that far. I asked
him had he thought about financial consequences or consequences at work?? Her husband is a doctor and has referred a lot of his friends to our company to build houses. I dont think he would lose his job but the news of him messing around with a client wouldnt help us. Anyway just asking for advice.

Start by reading the infidelity FAQ's linked below in my signature. I also suggest posting to General Questions II

Pay special attention to Plan A and Exposure sections.

Does OWH know yet?

If not we need to inform him. His aid could be essential in breaking up the A.

Typically WS's tend not to think long term, And those few times that they do it is usually filled with a utopian fantasy world completly disconnected from reality. Don't rely on logic from a WS, you will be gravely disappointed.

Keep posting and we will help you through this!

And as BK said earlier move the thread to GQII. There is a lot more traffic there.

Stay Strong!

It is time for you to let him know that he must stop all contact with the OW. PERIOD -- write the letter that says that because of his love and respect for you, he can no longer be in contact with her. Next, you must get into MC and IC.

The marriage can be saved, but he must stop the EA with the OW.

Good luck