If this wasent a tradegie , i would probobley laugh

WILD FLING'S LEFT MY LIFE IN RUINS
27 October 2006
LETTER OF THE DAY

Dear MIRIAM,

I'VE ruined my life. I'm hoping you can help me fix things.

I'm 45 and was married until recently.

The whole mess started two years ago when someone I thought was my dream man suddenly appeared in my life. My husband seemed mediocre compared to him.

We started an affair and, although I felt guilty about cheating on my husband and two children, I didn't let that stop me.

Inevitably, my husband found out and our marriage was history.

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Unfortunately my relationship with my lover, hot while it lasted, burned itself out almost immediately my divorce became final.

My ex-husband has a new woman and I'm insanely jealous. I realise I was a fool and my lover never did measure up to him. My children tell me he's talking about marriage to her. I want him and my old life back. Can I win him back or have I blown it completely?

Miriam says...

OH dear! You made the classic mistake of dumping a perfectly nice but slightly boring husband for a sexy but unreliable hunk.

I'm afraid the odds aren't in your favour as it could take years of patient work to undo the damage now he thinks you're untrustworthy. Your ex-husband seems to have moved on if he's considering marriage again to a woman who really wants and appreciates him, and the point of no return may have been reached already.

On the other hand, it might self-combust if it's a relationship on the rebound.

In any case, are you sure you really want him and you're not simply reacting to the other woman?

Sometimes a woman just doesn't want anybody else to have her man even if, deep down, she really doesn't want him herself.

You invested a ton of time, energy and emotion into this relationship. Do you want him because you're on your own?

If he means that much to you, then beg him. Tell him you made a huge error of judgment.

Really humble yourself and swallow your pride because you're not going to care if you look stupid or sound stupid or even feel stupid - you're going to do whatever it takes to have him back in your life.

Looks like the fog has lifted a bit but the view isn't the same.

See most eventually come around, just where the BS and family are when the fog lifts, is the mystery.

L.

Marcus

Most affair relationships end in the toilet. More than 90% don't survive 2 years. Trouble is WS are not a receptive audience to this kind of inarguable fact when they are caught up in the rationalisation and dopamine rush of an affair.

Its a pity, but all I can do is wish her BH well.