I've been talking to a guy online. Similiar interests, some flirting, nothing deep. He lives near my hometown but he wouldn't tell me his name. Several weeks ago I teased that this was because he was either 1) waiting to get more info to check me out so I'll be easier to avoid if you find out something you don't like. 2) just like talking dirty in emails but would never want to actually see someone you met online. 3) really some old married pervert.

BINGO! He quit emailing for a few weeks but has finally admitted that he is married. OUCH!

I didn't blast him. Instead, I offered some advice from experience, made it clear that as a BS I would not be party to busting up a marriage, and gave some encouragement to work on his marriage. He actually thanked me. He sounds like a nice guy that was getting very close to having an A and making a horrible mistake. I hope they can make it.

I wonder how many A's could be prevented if a friend would just step up and say "I think you are crossing the line."

Probably a lot. But how many people would have the guts to do it?

Wonder why he disclosed he was married? Maybe wanted your advice; seems strange though.

I emailed a man several times and we asked each other about the demise of our marriages. Not the gory details, just general situation and how things occured. He shared that he and his wife grew apart. Says they decided to divorce, but held off for two years, living in the same home and living seperate lives, both eventually dating others. She was a SAHM, needed to find a job, get health insurance, etc before they could finalize the divorce. This did not sit well with me. I believe either you are married or not. I didn't like that he felt OK with dating while still married, although leading separate lives. I told him so gently and wished him well.

Two weeks later, he emailed, saying he thought about it and understood my feelings. He realized I would not date him but he wanted to know if we could continue emails as friends since we had a lot of other things in common and enjoyed each others humor. And we have. In fact, have met for dinner twice, he emails me when he's traveling on his job and always includes a photo of the the city he is in, with interesting stories of new adventures.

He has never pursued more, thankfully, but I value the friendship.

Strange things indeed happen on the internet.Hopefully your internet person will take your advice. Hope about letting him know of this site, he could learn a lot.

jasminelady


yet:


No offence but it sounds like you are having an EA with a married man. Do you not see this? You are a BS right? hmmmmmmm

MB

Point well taken, mybad, but not an EA. We talk about life in general, news and weather. I made my feelings clear that I was not interested in a romantic relationship with him yet that doesn't mean that we can't be at lower level, like I am with co-workers, neighbors etc. One never knows all about people we come into contact with, and the fact that his view on his personal life is different than mine, doesn't mean we can't exchange jokes or adventure stories.

He is divorced and has been for 5 years. I am a BS and still sting for past relatiionship.

Life is funny and I am always in awe.

Jasminelady, is he divorced or not, I didn't get it...

However, talking "about life in general, news and weather" can contribute to his alienation from his wife as well... Think about it.
And don't be there pls...

Sorry for the confusion. Yes he is divorced and has been for about 5 years. We began corresponding this summer via email. My point was that I did not respect his decision to date others while he and his wife were still married (5 - 7 years ago) and working out things for their divorce. I thought their arrangement was strange and not something I could not respect. But that doesn't mean we can't be buddies on a lower level; I am just not interested in him romantically. He understands this and has respected my boundaries.

Hope this clears the confusion.

The guy is a creep. I would not worry about offending him. Offering him advice is a waste of time. He already knows what he is doing is wrong and he is choosing to do it anyway.