when i found out i confronted him and he immediately went into telling me everything that i have done wrong for the past few years. he told me that we were through. he wanted to live his life and be free. he stressed that he loved me but no longer wanted to be in a relationship with me or anyone else.
i truly believe that his relationship with OW was short lived and was not emotional. she even said that it wasn't like 'that'.
so we were talking through things trying to separate our lives all in the same time because we were and still are in the process of buying a new home --- we close soon. i thought it was perfect time for him to get out of the marriage so that he doesn't have to buy the house... (history -together 17yrs, 3 kids, high school sweethearts)
he never moved out and i think it ended immediately with other woman. 2 days after d-day 8/12/06 he says that we are just going to live together as roommates and stay in the house. so that is basically what we have been doing living together in seperate rooms. he works at night so it's the perfect roommate situation because we dont have to see each other. he has made lots of efforts to communicate with me and i never was great at calling him or plain old communicating. i literally get terrified to talk or express my feelings with him whether it's anger or love so i have been holding in alot of emotion. anyhow, i asked him one day could we take a weekend away and he sd no. i immediately became hurt and angry, and felt like a fool for putting myself out there to be hurt again when he is thinking that we are just 'roommates' and i was thinking we were on the 'road to recovery' It has been almost 3 months and we act like 'friends' and a part of me wants to say to him goodbye, get out, kick rocks, i don't need another friend because i feel like this will never change or that he can't ever love me again because he wont even say that we are trying. i told him a month ago that maybe he should move in with her (temporary insanity). he hates to even hear her name, and that is when the arguing starts when i bring the A up. so he has been trying to rush the process of closing on the house, he is always asking when will we close and honestly i have been the hold up because i just dont want to be roommates...i didn't send in paperwork they needed because i am confused, i dont want to sign my life away to being a roommate. today he asked what was the hold up and he then sd the mortgage company needs to hurry and why aren't they doing their job and if they aren't going to finance us he's just going to get an apartment. i think he was just talking, but later on i said to him (out of anger) that maybe he should get an apartment and he then said 'and what are you going to do?" my heart sank. i immediately thought 'what will i do?' and why was he so quick to ask like he had just been given a way out?
so i felt like maybe i should give up. i feel guilty for some reason like i am holding him back from happiness. that maybe he has been just staying here becaus he doesnt want to be the bad guy.
help me with your outside opinion. do i follow through with trying to close on the house? do i just go our separate ways?
I have read Dr Harley's book and I am still at a loss and just need someone to help me separate me from my own fog. sorry so long...
