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She just left. 4yr old daughter was bawling her eyes out crying for mommy. She got enraged because I didn't give her a hug goodbye. I told her she had to do what she thinks is best for our marriage. She said she's trying and just when she started feeling good I started getting "wierd" again. She said she wasn't going to go today until I started giving her the cold shoulder.
What a tradgedy.
And, the PI lost her. Called OMW and she is begging me to wait and let the PI follow OM. I want to just call.
BH (me): 35
FWW: 34
Married 13 years
3 children, S9,S7,D4
3 DDays: EA June 05, EA May 06, PA Nov 06,
NC 14 months, recovering
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Wait and let the PI follow them. Stay calm. You are standing for your family right now.
If there are not a lot of hotels in town, you can call around and see if he is registered. That's how I caught WH. I phoned hotels and told them my brother was checking in today, and asked if he had arrived yet. Every single hotel person that I talked to gave me an answer.
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You mean he used his own name !!!!!!!!!! Did he want to be caught ???
"You won't ever regret doing the right thing! Nobody ever does!" ~ Heartsore
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Never - Yep, used his own name. Most hotels make you show a drivers license now days. I had to call about 20 hotels, but found them in the next town.
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Interesting. I do a lot of traveling and I was under the impression that the DL was used to make sure you are the person who's name is on the credit card (using a cc, would be another bonehead move in a case like this). Were you two able to work things out and stay together?
"You won't ever regret doing the right thing! Nobody ever does!" ~ Heartsore
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In California, even if you pay cash, they ask for a DL. No, we did not stay together. It's been 3 and a half years since D-day. When the affair finally ended, I didn't want him back.
But our children are grown.
I'm hoping that a miracle will happen for NG.
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I do too. I am thinking that something is up, otherwise he would have posted something. Maybe the PI was succesful and they are waiting it out or there are for bawling people with two trying to explain the unexplainable..... I hope NG makes it and will be OK.
Sorry about your marriage. We had two near kills in our 31 years too, but thank God survived both. The first one was her and a guy, the second one (even worse) was her and HER JOB. Job related stress that she could not deal with and projected all the problems on me. I was fighting an abstract enemy, and that wa sterrible, but hey, THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL YOU< MAKES YOU STRONGER, right??? It sure did here....
Now, I hope NG comes back with some good news.
"You won't ever regret doing the right thing! Nobody ever does!" ~ Heartsore
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Have you posted your story? Doesn't matter what it is - another lover, a job, church, kids, etc. There is a problem anytime a spouse is not the number 1 priority.
I hope that NG has not gone to confront them. Nothing good will come from that. He has caught her now, and she may have rationalizations, but the game is up.
NG needs to change his tactic, and protect whatever love he has left for her.
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No I did not. I just came here looking for how other folks handle situations like this YEARS after the fact. Just because there was unconditional forgiveness, does not mean that one can forget. Our marriage right now is solid and neither one of us has anything to worry about, it is just that everytime a trigger appears, no matter how tiny, all that bad stuff plays tricks on my brain. I told her that and she is OK with talking it out.
Believer, it is 8PM and now I am getting a little worried.
"You won't ever regret doing the right thing! Nobody ever does!" ~ Heartsore
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NG's parents got a hotel room in case he and the kids needed a place to be safe. I'm hoping they are there. He is going through a very hard time right now, considering his wife pretended to be in recovery.
NG - when you read this, I hope you will think about going to your doctor for some anti-D's. They will help you get through this. I'm hoping and praying that you and your children are okay tonight.
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Oops...I guess I have to eat my words about the PI surely not losing them...I hope he managed to keep up with the neighbor...argh!!
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Ok, my wife came home and we talked for a while. OMW was banging on the door trying to get to my wife. I did not confront OM; I have nothing to say to him. I pulled the plug rather than let my wife get caught on film by the PI; I couldn't do that to her.
So, I have no idea what to do now. Wife has a hotel room and our credit card. We only have one car so I've been shuttling people back and forth. The kids are spending some time with her right now.
I don't know what to do now. I am thinking I should try to bring her home for counselling tomorrow.
BH (me): 35
FWW: 34
Married 13 years
3 children, S9,S7,D4
3 DDays: EA June 05, EA May 06, PA Nov 06,
NC 14 months, recovering
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So did the PI clue you in where they were or did it not even gety that far and you just called her to let her know that you knew what they were up to?
I would try to get her home tonight, if she calms down and if you can talk her into it. Is OM at home with his wife?
Last edited by NeverToLate; 11/12/06 11:32 PM.
"You won't ever regret doing the right thing! Nobody ever does!" ~ Heartsore
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I didn't let it get that far, I just called her. I'm feeling very sad right now. W is in a motel alone. The plan is to get our second vehicle for her tomorrow (its in the shop) and talk to SH. My mom will help for a little while but I need to get her home as soon as I can.
BH (me): 35
FWW: 34
Married 13 years
3 children, S9,S7,D4
3 DDays: EA June 05, EA May 06, PA Nov 06,
NC 14 months, recovering
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NG, you did what your conscience told you to do and that is the best way. I think most people out to get their spouse would have let it unfold. Take care of yourself and the children. Hopefully your wife comes to her senses.
"You won't ever regret doing the right thing! Nobody ever does!" ~ Heartsore
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Well, I'm relieved. At least you didn't end up in jail.
There is no doubt what was happening. I don't think you have to worry about your neighbor anymore. His life is going to suck for awhile.
Take your time and think about all of this. Talk to SH. He is an expert.
Hang in there - I'm proud of you.
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Normal,
Geez I logged on this morning and read this and wow.
Take care of YOURSELF right now. Take care of the kids too.
Good luck, you did good. Hang in there.
BS 38
FWW 35
D Day 10/03
Recovery started 11/06
3 boys 12, 8 and a new baby
When life hands you lemons make lemonade then try to find the person life hands vodka and have a party.
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Norm,
WHAT A TURN OF EVENTS!!!!
Last time I checked you were very cautious about snooping, now I find out you just called your W to warn her that she might be on Candid Camera!!!
You can now look her straight in the eye and say "And tell me again why I shouldn't be snooping???"
What about totally dark plan B with keeping the kids away from her?? Let her find her own transportation. And cancel that credit card.
Like you said..she CHOSE THIS PATH.
3rd time is the charm...donchya think??
krk
CORDUROY PILLOWS ARE MAKING HEADLINES!!
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My wife is back home and we talked to the counsellor. He talked to my wife for quite a while and then to me. He told me we should let the dust settle a bit before doing anything. I can see that W is very sad and shocked at what is happening to two families. She has told the story to me and to OMW. The affair had already been physical. I feel completely hopeless. Most of the time I don't feel anything at all. The kids are really happy now that mom and dad are both home though.
W is reading this now. She might make her own thread. Please help her if she does.
BH (me): 35
FWW: 34
Married 13 years
3 children, S9,S7,D4
3 DDays: EA June 05, EA May 06, PA Nov 06,
NC 14 months, recovering
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Normal,
That is a lot to deal with. I am really sorry for your current sitch.
Not for nothing but the whole snooping thing makes sense now.
Well whatever you do know that we are here to support you.
Good luck.
BS 38
FWW 35
D Day 10/03
Recovery started 11/06
3 boys 12, 8 and a new baby
When life hands you lemons make lemonade then try to find the person life hands vodka and have a party.
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