My husband and I have been together for a little over 5 years and have been married for a little over 2 years. Before we got together we were close friends from the time he was 11 and I was 14. We're now 21 & 24.
Lately in the past year and half and mainly in the past 6 months things have been getting really crazy. We fight nearly everyday and the fights are not small. Everytime he calls me names and purposely says things he knows will upset me the most. He's admitted to doing this after the fight is over. He says he's so angry he just wants to say the worst possible thing to me to hurt me. He tells me if I don't "straighten up" then he wants a divorce. Or tells me things like "I hate you" "I don't want to do things with you because I can't stand you" and has even gotten to the point where's he's pushed me out of anger.
Our fights usually are about his best friend because I don't care for him at all. When we're out somewhere with this friend he talks about women as if they're only good for sex and nothing more. He's very disrespectful and I get offended by his comments and actions. On one occasion, while I was right there. He told my husband to check out another girl. I think everyone looks from time to time but for someone to tell him to check out another girl while his wife is right there is very rude and disrespectful. I've told my husband this and he says he understands how I feel about it but yet does nothing. His friend is constantly making fun of other people and thinking he's better than everyone else and it's slowly starting to rub off a little on my husband. I don't know what to do about this situation because everytime I talk about it he always has an excuse for his friend but refuses to say anything when we're out even when he knows I'm uncomfortable with the way his friend speaks about other women. I don't think there's any excuse to be rude in that way though. If anyone has any advice I'd be grateful.

I know how you feel. My husband also has a best friend that I'm not crazy about. It's not so much the friend as the way he treats me when the friend is in his life.
Anyway, I don't mean to sound spiteful, but i have found that showing my husband what he is doing wrong is often better then telling him what he is doing wrong. In other words, your husband won't understand why your feel jealous and wronged until he experiences it first hand. If I were you, I would point out other attractive men (they have to be attractive though) around him. Either that, or get a girl friend in on the action and have her point out other attractive men in front of him.
My husband use to do the same thing, but then he stopped when I gave him a little taste of his own medicine. Hope that helps, and good luck!

My suggestion: Get your hands on a copy of "LoveBusters". Acknowledge with your H that you both need to change your behaviour in order for you both to get the most out of your M, and study "LoveBusters" together.



Question: have you ever let this "friend" know how you feel about his comments and actions? Perhaps if he knows that you're offended by them, he'd be less inclined to act that way, at least when you're around.