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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4 |
I live with my boyfriend of 3 years and have talked with him previously about a coworker of his that I think she might be getting the wrong impression from his actions and might read it as flirting. They have a special lunch place on the roof where they eat together, he's gone alone for a walk in the park with her and the dogs. Gives her the 2nd cookie when he gets some from the vending machine and shares his stash of dark chocolate with her whenever she drops by his desk. And the text messaging has me concerned too.
Such as right now, last Thursday at work he text messaged her more than he e-mailed me. Am I overreacting that this is just a friendship or should he dial it back?
She writes to him A LOT and he the "nice guy" type that he'll always respond because he doesn't want to seem rude by ignoring a message.
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 2,863
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Member
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 2,863 |
You're not overreacting. Sounds like an emotional affair and potential physical/romantic affair. I think you know your relationship is in trouble. If your boyfriend cares more about being polite to the co-worker than about being in a relationship with you, and you're not married yet, it is an indicator of how he will treat you if you DO marry.
Do you want a life with this guy? Does he want the same?
He already knows how you feel. Yet he continues the relationship. What do you think this says about the two of you?
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 101
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 101 |
You are NOT over reacting...it's not neccesary.
The good Lord gave you a body that can withstand most anything, it's your mind you have to convince.
Vince Lombardi
Me FWS 39 yrs old now 41
Husband BS 33 years old will be 35
Two great kids 21 and 19
Marriage 12 years Now 13 years will be 14 in October
Together for 17 years
D-Day 10-23-2006
Marriage Recovering
Keep us in your prayers
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 3 |
I'm sorry to hear this. I've been married a little over 2 years and my husband is doing a little bit of the same thing. Taking lunch/smoke breaks, texting, it wouldn't bother me so much if he didn't ignore my texts to him and would reply to hers right away. It's hard to deal with but approach him about it now, don't wait until you're married. Be prepared for the possibility of his reaction to be "she's really just a friend, it's nothing for you to worry about" that's the response I got when I approached my husband. I'm still trying to work on this with him and try to make him understand that out of respect, female friends have a limit. Especially when I'm being ignored for one.
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Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 2,863
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Member
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 2,863 |
LLS, it won't get any better by working on him. You can't get him to "see the light" with logic. He's addicted to her. Mine did the same thing. On Tuesday my attorney and I have an appointment to go over some aspects of the divorce settlement by telephone.
Go the How Affairs Should End part of the site and read. It's not too late for you.
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 15
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 15 |
Noway are you overreacting. Sounds like he is infatuated with this woman if you ask me.
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