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I didn't question your motivations... therein lies the difference. I know you give from your heart... even when I don't agree with you... and I can't ask for anymore than that.

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Quote:

I didn't question your motivations... therein lies the difference. I know you give from your heart... even when I don't agree with you... and I can't ask for anymore than that.




Nor did I question your motivations MEDC...That was truly an unfortunate assumption on your part...I hope we can move past that...

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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for crying out loud

I started this thread to give Becca praise and motivation

she is in very early recovery & this is a crucial time for her

so if you are not here to help me help her
bug off!

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Quote:

bug off!




SHE has spoken.

Bye.

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McBecca, I concur with Pep. You have grown and changed so much since you arrived here. Kudos to you and your hubby for putting your family first.

As for the OC, that is God taking your sin and using it for His good. A blessing to you and your H to come out of the hurt and pain of the A.


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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McBecca... If you like to read... pick up the book Marriage Undercover.

This is a story written by the BH and FWW ... a couple (Bob and Audrey Meisner) who are celebrities of a sort... they are part of a Christian tv show "It's a New Day". I have no idea if this is a show run throughout the US or just here in Canada.

My point, though, is it is an excellent story of forgiveness, recovery, and most importantly, in your case, the rebuilding of their family around a baby boy born through her infidelity.

One quote from the book "He brought beauty out of the ashes, rejoicing out of sorrow, and laughter out of weeping. Most of all, He took that which the enemy sowed into our lives with malicious intent and turned it into the most precious gift we could ever imagine - our son Robert."

And one other from the book... for all of us...

"God designed us to depend on Him daily, and when we don't, our lives are out of kilter. The more we depend on God the better we come to know Him, and the better we know Him, the closer we draw to Him. The closer we draw to Him, the more we love Him. Dependence, knowledge, closeness, love... these are all relational words that help to define intimacy.

Satan counterfeits with false intimacy. How does it compare? Instead of dependence, there is co-dependency; instead of knowledge, deception; instead of closeness, superficial affection; and instead of love, lust.

God uses marriage as a picture of our relationship with Him. If I desire true intimacy with God, it is only natural to desire true intimacy with (my spouse) in our marriage. It's okay to want it all when it comes to marriage as long as I am willing to give it all! True intimacy in marriage suffers when a husband and wife become blind to the beautiful qualities of character, strength, and inner grace that once drew them together. How do they restore intimacy? By finding ways to make themselves irresistible to each other again! The most irresistible quality is a heart surrendered to God."


McBecca... so happy to hear how you are continuing to turn this situation and use God's grace for something wonderful. Your family is blessed to have someone like you who is willing to go through the pain of facing the truth and making your life and your family's lives better for it.

Shaden


BH (Me) - 38
WW - 36
Married - 16 years
2 children - 10,12
DD1 - 05/30/05 - EA suspected, W wanted space
DD2 - 07/01/05 - EA/PA discovered & confronted WW
DD3 - 07/21/05 - Further contact discovered and now ended.
11/07/05 - exposed to OMW...
07/01/07 - separated to give "space". recovery was not progressing.
09/04/07 - DDAY all over... new OM.

Patience with God is Faith.
Patience with myself is Hope.
Patience with others is Love.
FAITH REQUIRES ACTION!
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Pep... was that ok what I said? Was it inline with your wishes for this thread?


I'd hate to anger the all-powerful and mighty Pep... look I brought you the broomstick as you ordered.

Shaden


BH (Me) - 38
WW - 36
Married - 16 years
2 children - 10,12
DD1 - 05/30/05 - EA suspected, W wanted space
DD2 - 07/01/05 - EA/PA discovered & confronted WW
DD3 - 07/21/05 - Further contact discovered and now ended.
11/07/05 - exposed to OMW...
07/01/07 - separated to give "space". recovery was not progressing.
09/04/07 - DDAY all over... new OM.

Patience with God is Faith.
Patience with myself is Hope.
Patience with others is Love.
FAITH REQUIRES ACTION!
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Quote:

I'd hate to anger the all-powerful and mighty Pep... look I brought you the broomstick as you ordered.




BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAA!!! Pretty good for a "furriner" Shaden!

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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Switzerland, I know you're secretly "in love" with good-old-Pep ... so quit the crap and gimme a *kiss*

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However, I do believe God is the only one capable of turning a WRONG into a RIGHT and that is how I see my situation. No I should never have entered into that A with OM, no I should never have been disloyal to BH, no I shouldn't have played Russian roulette with birth control etc.... the list is long of the "shouldn't haves" on my list, but Christ died for me just as he died for those that do the "right" thing or those like me who don't or at one point have been so under satan's attack they did everything WRONG!

I have repented, I Believe God is using OC to save my M, I believe God will also use OC to bring OM closer to him, I also believe God was the only one capable of helping BH forgive me and be now a better husband than he was before....Perhaps I am just a positive person who chooses to believe that good always comes out of a bad situation.

There are a lot of things that I (and those also involved) shouldn't have done in my situation but other than to learn from the past, I am trying hard to put my mistakes behind and not dwell on it and not see the blessings it has brought me. Trust me, I live with a daily reminder of that and I thank God every day for her.

Becca


WW (me) 36 BH 37 Married 16 yrs 3 children, 12DD, 4DD, 7 mths DD (OC) D-day 8/05 2nd D-day 10/05 *OC* 3rd D-day 6/08/06 DD *OC* born ~~ If I had known then what I know now ~~
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Pep, I'm jealous of SWITZERLAND whoever that is...

I've been holding back on saying I LOVE YA today.

I sooo want to be like you WHEN I GROW UP!!!

and HUGS TO YOU, MCBECCA.....



I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Becca

the people I admire the most are the ones who fell

and then GOT BACK UP

it is our struggle that defines how strong we will be

I love people who fall & struggle ... and then with courage they grow into a soulful & strong creature .... because they struggled

I get tired of people who ask about "the easy way"
people who want to NOT struggle with the big issues in life

THAT'S what we're here for !!!

I embrace your struggle Becca ... it will change you in ways you are not even guessing it ever could

as PureBob says: all blessings

Pep

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No, don't believe there's a hierarchy of sin, as in

"my sins don't stink".


[color:"#39395A"]***Well, it's sort of hard to still wonder if you were consolation prize in the midst of being cherished.***
- Noodle[/color]

Devastation Day: Aug 26, 2004
[color:"#2964d8"]"I think we have come out on the other side... meaning that we love each other more than we ever did when we loved each other most." [/color]
[color:"#7b9af7"]
~Archibald MacLeish[/color]

Very Happily Married
Me FBS - 44
Him FWS - 51
I married him all over again, May 07
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Quote:

Becca

the people I admire the most are the ones who fell

and then GOT BACK UP

it is our struggle that defines how strong we will be

I love people who fall & struggle ... and then with courage they grow into a soulful & strong creature .... because they struggled

I get tired of people who ask about "the easy way"
people who want to NOT struggle with the big issues in life

THAT'S what we're here for !!!

I embrace your struggle Becca ... it will change you in ways you are not even guessing it ever could

as PureBob says: all blessings

Pep




Likewise, the people I admire are those who suffered great devastation and used it for growth, used it for becomming incredible people.

They say that at no other time in our lives will we have such opportunity for personal growth, change and creativity as we do after personal devastation.

I feel sorry for people who are never given struggles, or who run from them, or who use them to remain in victim mentality. I see them all the time, they are the ones who are petty, bitter, aging ungracefully, depressed, angry.

They say that God takes us to the desert and brings us to our knees for one reason...so we can hear Him. (to me that is symbolism for spiritual, emotional and mental growth...soul growth)

Good luck to you Becca!

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Quote:

Quote:

Becca

the people I admire the most are the ones who fell

and then GOT BACK UP

it is our struggle that defines how strong we will be

I love people who fall & struggle ... and then with courage they grow into a soulful & strong creature .... because they struggled

I get tired of people who ask about "the easy way"
people who want to NOT struggle with the big issues in life

THAT'S what we're here for !!!

I embrace your struggle Becca ... it will change you in ways you are not even guessing it ever could

as PureBob says: all blessings

Pep




Likewise, the people I admire are those who suffered great devastation and used it for growth, used it for becomming incredible people.

They say that at no other time in our lives will we have such opportunity for personal growth, change and creativity as we do after personal devastation.

I feel sorry for people who are never given struggles, or who run from them, or who use them to remain in victim mentality. I see them all the time, they are the ones who are petty, bitter, aging ungracefully, depressed, angry.

They say that God takes us to the desert and brings us to our knees for one reason...so we can hear Him. (to me that is symbolism for spiritual, emotional and mental growth...soul growth)

Good luck to you Becca!




All that quoting to say, "Ditto!"

Becca, during some time I had to browse on MB the other day, I went through your story. It is one of courage... and... the greatest love...

I admire your choices as you walked a path few of us truly understand... your journey is truly a "soul journey"...

God bless you and your family!



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However, I do believe God is the only one capable of turning a WRONG into a RIGHT and that is how I see my situation.




And the crowd goes WILD.

STANDING OVATION!

YES!

YES!

YES!

(that's what I tried to say)

Awesome!


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

Recovered!
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McBecca, so that I am clear, I do wish you and your H all the best. My only point was that no man would wish for his M ... and that even if a good comes from evil... it doesn't change that given the chance... your H would have had you not cheat even though that would mean no daughter. Now that she is here... obviously you both deserve happiness and I truly hope your M continues to grow.

You made the following comment... and I would suggest that you stop entertaining thoughts about the OM and what he is thinking or feeling.
Quote:

I believe God will also use OC to bring OM closer to him,



The OM is out of your lives unless he decides to take action to see his child. I would suggest that you begin removing him from your thoughts as well.

Be well McB.

MEDC

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Switzerland, I know you're secretly "in love" with good-old-Pep ... so quit the crap and gimme a *kiss*




sorry Pep... I love you, but I'm just not "in love" with you anymore.

...but "kisses" are great no matter what.

Swiss


BH (Me) - 38
WW - 36
Married - 16 years
2 children - 10,12
DD1 - 05/30/05 - EA suspected, W wanted space
DD2 - 07/01/05 - EA/PA discovered & confronted WW
DD3 - 07/21/05 - Further contact discovered and now ended.
11/07/05 - exposed to OMW...
07/01/07 - separated to give "space". recovery was not progressing.
09/04/07 - DDAY all over... new OM.

Patience with God is Faith.
Patience with myself is Hope.
Patience with others is Love.
FAITH REQUIRES ACTION!
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Quote:

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAA!!! Pretty good for a "furriner" Shaden!

Mrs. W




I thought you'd like that one Mrs. Dubya.

BTW... I've been meaning to mention to you, or warn you... there's been someone hacking onto your computer and using your id fairly regularly. He claims it's because he was watching the Tigers on tv..

I dunno... sounds fishy to me... not much to watch when watching the Tigers.

Shaden

PS... MeBecca, how you doing today?

PPS... Pep... I included Becca on this post so it would be valid for the thread. Gotta cover my a$$.


BH (Me) - 38
WW - 36
Married - 16 years
2 children - 10,12
DD1 - 05/30/05 - EA suspected, W wanted space
DD2 - 07/01/05 - EA/PA discovered & confronted WW
DD3 - 07/21/05 - Further contact discovered and now ended.
11/07/05 - exposed to OMW...
07/01/07 - separated to give "space". recovery was not progressing.
09/04/07 - DDAY all over... new OM.

Patience with God is Faith.
Patience with myself is Hope.
Patience with others is Love.
FAITH REQUIRES ACTION!
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