Hello everybody,
I very recently discovered that I am a BH. The MB site has been incredible, and I only wish I had this sort of information 5 years ago.
I discovered my wife's affair this past Friday by analyzing cell phone records and then checking her email account. The adultery is with her supervisor (he had been her co-worker for years) at work. He is 38 years old, good-looking and educated, but also never been married, and never even involved in a serious relationship, and hardly even dates. In other words, I am confident that this man is not mature or experienced enough to ever actually make my wife happy. I think the logical side of my wife understands that, but I am unsure of how much she is still addicted to the relationship.
The email I found that tipped me off to the affair was actually related to the OM *ending* the affair. My WW expressed pain and a feeling of rejection in her email response to him. In other words, she did not end this voluntarily. They had just ended the affair 2 days before I found out.
I read the policy of NO CONTACT on the MB site. Luckily, this is her last week on the job before moving to a new job. I made my wife promise that as long as we are still married, she is NOT to make contact with him. She agrees, but seems reluctant and has been complaining about me suffocating her. I called the OM and told him that he will stay away from my wife until if and when he sees a piece of paper that says we are divorced. He completely agreed, and said he felt that way already and that's why he broke it off.
Both my WW and the OM profess that the adultery has ended. My wife is starting a new job and the opportunity for contact with the OM will be greatly limited. OTOH, my wife says that the "marriage is dead" and initially agreed to counseling but now says it is "pointless". So I don't trust that she isn't still addicted to the OM. I was made a fool of once, and I don't know what I'd do if it happened again.
So here's my question: The adultery appears to be over. This site says I MUST expose the adultery to everyone I can. Should I do that and risk pushing her away further (it would *really* piss her off) when it looks like it is already over?
THANK YOU for your help at this horrible time.
TomFool
