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#1767803 11/10/06 11:48 PM
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In 2003 my WW had her first introduction to the future OM at parent/teacher interviews.At that time she had not yet returned to teaching.They had further contact at our sons' graduation and other school sponsored functions.They were becoming friends by this point and their big opportunity came when the OM, who also coached the girls hockey team on which our daughter played, invited my wife to accompany him, the team and about 10 other parents on a 2 week trip to Europe. She was supposed to act as a chaperone ( her and the coach were the ones that needed chaperoning)This trip was also school sponsored.It was shortly after returning that she told me " I don't love you as a husband"This was in March/05 and in Sept./O5 she returned to teaching and can you guess where? Our local high school, teaching in the same dept. as the OM.I was still unaware of the affair( too trusting,too naive) but everyone in our small community certainly knew, including their fellow teachers at school.In June/06 her job ended as she had only a 1 yr. contract.She left me and our 4 kids on July 29/06 to be with the OM.In late August she was rehired by the same school with a classroom right beside the OMs' My question is this: what responsibility does the school have to ensure that its teachers do not pursue parents of its students at school functions?I am 2 weeks into planB and am hopeful that the affair will end but realize no contact will be impossible if they continue teaching together.

Last edited by not2late; 11/11/06 12:02 AM.
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That depends on the ethics enforced by the workplace. What I would do is NOT tell them what t/d but let them know that U and possibly 'others' are questioning their ethics. That puts the 'onis' (owning their repsonsiblity) on the school and does not make you sound as accusatory.

JMHO,
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N2L,

My OW was actually assigned to work for me.
Once the A got going, I had to tell HR for fear of being fired. They simply asked her whether she was being harassed & assigned her to report to my boss. That was it.
They just wanted to cover the company's ass. They said it wasn't their business if it didn't interfere with work.

So my BS exposed the A to a few of my coworkers, our friends, pastor, our kids, her family, my family, etc.

Does the school have any policy against this?
I doubt if everyone knows.

She is in the "fog" & can't think straight.
Who have you told who might exert pressure on them?
Her family? His family? A lot of A's break up when the heat gets turned up.

My wife was considering renting a billboard near my office, so that Everyone would know. My OW was incensed that my BS would dare interfere with her life.

Nobody who knew would speak to me. I felt so alone, but at least I had her. Until she got tired of all this & threw me out.


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Quote:

My wife was considering renting a billboard near my office, so that Everyone would know. My OW was incensed that my BS would dare interfere with her life.




lol! If that isn't an example of some fine foggy thinking, I don't know what is! That is just classic! Did it ever occur to your OW that the BS would not have done that if the OW had not "interfered" in her marriage?

Quote:

Nobody who knew would speak to me. I felt so alone, but at least I had her. Until she got tired of all this & threw me out.





This is the beauty of EXPOSURE! It worked just like its supposed to.

not2late, have you exposed this affair to the school and the school board? How much exposure have you done thus far?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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I would let the principal and the school board know. They should be made aware of the ethical and moral behaviour of their teachers. After all, aren't they supposed to be role models to their students; these people are shaping young minds.

I would just point out what is going on and that you felt it necessary for them to be aware of it for the above reasons.

I am not sure if they will do anything, but it might raise issues among the schoolboard members (some of them may take adultery rather seriously; others may be concerned about student exposure to their immorality).

I thought about writing a letter to the principal and schoolboard in my case. OW is a highschool teacher. However, after d-day my FWH stopped all contact and there was no need to expose. I wanted to write it anyway (for revenge). I wanted to embarrass her. After 6 months, I still play with the idea at times.

If you do let them know, be factual, state the obvious, (the affair, you are still married trying to save your marriage), and point to the moral and ethical values card regarding teachers.


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