Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 4
#1767832 11/11/06 11:28 AM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
We judge ourselves by our intent.
Others judge us by our behavior.


discuss amongst yourselves

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 58
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 58
I would definatley have to agree with that statement. We judge ourselves by what we intend to do, but since others cant read our minds to find our intent, they can only judge by behaviour.


BS 8-06 WW 6-06 M 12-01 2 Kids 3 and 11 Months Plan A Never had the chance. Plan B Started 11-29-06
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 928
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 928
what's to discuss... you are so right.

I never thought about this before, but I have often tried to find intent before I've judged behavior... this just messes everything up. If you want to be judged well then behave well.

Shaden


BH (Me) - 38
WW - 36
Married - 16 years
2 children - 10,12
DD1 - 05/30/05 - EA suspected, W wanted space
DD2 - 07/01/05 - EA/PA discovered & confronted WW
DD3 - 07/21/05 - Further contact discovered and now ended.
11/07/05 - exposed to OMW...
07/01/07 - separated to give "space". recovery was not progressing.
09/04/07 - DDAY all over... new OM.

Patience with God is Faith.
Patience with myself is Hope.
Patience with others is Love.
FAITH REQUIRES ACTION!
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
One of my main credos...

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS....

Regardless of the WS' INTENT, his/her actions are most crucial...

Same is true for US..the BETRAYED...

Plus, in our minds, we often fool and delude ourselves with our self-protective rationalizations and justifications...I know I do...


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
In Texas we just say "TALK IS CHEAP!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
I just saw a New Yorker cartoon (p.82 of the Nov 13 edition) and thought of you Mel, LOL.

It was labeled, TEXAS DASHBOARD ORGANIZER

and included spaces for SNUFF, CHIPS, SALSA, GUITAR PICK, HANDGUN and PIE...


Do you have one of those in your pickup?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 16,412
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 16,412
Who wrote that? I found the quote in several places....but even though it's in quotations....nobody is giving the authors name. Jack Azzaretto has a really similar quote "We judge others by their actions, and we judge ourselves by our intent." ...but I don't know if he's the author of both.

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Quote
It was labeled, TEXAS DASHBOARD ORGANIZER

and included spaces for SNUFF, CHIPS, SALSA, GUITAR PICK, HANDGUN and PIE...


Do you have one of those in your pickup?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hey, I need one of those!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,316
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,316
Quote
Quote
It was labeled, TEXAS DASHBOARD ORGANIZER

and included spaces for SNUFF, CHIPS, SALSA, GUITAR PICK, HANDGUN and PIE...


Do you have one of those in your pickup?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hey, I need one of those!

Yep Mel, you need something to hold all that PIE!!! ROTFLMAO!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I'm SO tellin'!!!

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Quote
Who wrote that?


donno

I heard it at a conference I went to Friday
I liked it so much I wrote it down

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Quote
Yep Mel, you need something to hold all that PIE!!! ROTFLMAO!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I'm SO tellin'!!!

Mrs. W <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Now, you know I don't eat PIE, MrsW, I am on Atkins!! DUH! Those are PORK SKINS in my truck right next to my pistola! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
Speaking of funny things that Texans would like, the other day I saw a bumper sticker.

"If you oppose logging, use plastic toilet paper."

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb



Neak's Story
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 15,284
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 15,284
Pep,

Haven't seen you around much. I like that quote alot.

Mel: You said
Quote
In Texas we just say "TALK IS CHEAP!"

I believe the REAL Texas's saying is
Quote
All hat and no cattle.

RIGHT?

JL

Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
Quote
We judge ourselves by our intent.
Others judge us by our behavior.


discuss amongst yourselves

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

...and sometimes we put our foot in our mouths. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,466
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,466
Do you know why I seek out ALL of you for advise????

your posts total over 91,000.

Now I do not have the time to read 91,000 posts so I look for and ask this great group for advise.

thanks for all all of you have done.
M2L


M2L

ME BH 36 - FWW 33
2 kids
DDAY May 06


Sometimes waywards can be like Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 407
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 407
Quote
One of my main credos...

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS

This is my new credo as well.

Words to live by.

Jeff


Me 44
WW 32
S 12 D 8 S 5
M 12yrs
W Moved out 07/22/06
ww served me divorce papers 10/04/06

My first post

My current post...
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,473
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,473
So,

Should we learn to judge ourselves by our behavior, and others by their intent, or leave it alone?

SS


I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 271
E
Member
Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 271
So our behavior should line up with our intent - we should be authentic.


Me = FBS age 51
FWH = age 51
M 25 years, 2 children 16 and 20
D-Day 5/19/05
Recovered and happy
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Quote
So,

Should we learn to judge ourselves by our behavior, and others by their intent, or leave it alone?

SS

whatever you like my dear

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Quote
Pep,

Haven't seen you around much. I like that quote alot.

Mel: You said
Quote
In Texas we just say "TALK IS CHEAP!"

I believe the REAL Texas's saying is
Quote
All hat and no cattle.

RIGHT?

JL

Someone has been hanging around the stockyards in Texas! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> I was raised at the race tracks [and around bookies] and the saying over there was "money talks and bullsh** walks!" **snort** <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 4

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,116 guests, and 67 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5