e -

I hope you listen to what people are trying to tell you. Just because your wife is acting better does not mean you're out of the woods yet.

Trust me on this. I know from where I speak.

In fact, I may very well go off this board due to some stuff I very recently found out (since my wife knows I post here). You are nowhere near out of the woods yet.

Don't fear your wife - fear losing your wife.

I would love to share you with my recent developments, but this is just not a safe place for me to do so. But please, please listen. Take a strong stand now...lest you spend months or years only to find out your not anywhere near your destination.

Hi e5,

Glad to get an update from you.



Are you sure it is her integrity she's concerned w/?

It sounds to me as though she is more concerned w/ how OM views her.

If she's worried about his 'coldness' to her, then she's probably trying to figure out a way to make his coldness towards her turn warm.

Will you be present when your WW hosts the small group in your home?

Are you concerned that the OM may receive a conflicted message from you about what you want from him by allowing him into your home?

He may believe that you two have patched things up and can know resume a 'friendship' w/ your WW again.



This is very normal.

~ Marsh

Sorry to hear about your present sitch, HB.


~ Marsh

Marsh, you are right. She is also concerned with how the OM views her and how the Pastor views her. Because she has not been telling the 'whole' story to the Pastor, the Pastor knows about the things through me. My wife did not want to tell anyone anything.

I will not be there when they have their small group since I have to lead the Guy's group on that same day. And yes, I am concerned that it might send the OM a message and this I have to talk to my Pastor and see what he told the OM about when they could be 'friends' again. Will keep updating...

When they can be "friends" again? If this pastor is worht his salt, his answer will be "never."

Hi Marsh -


Thanks. At least after a year I know what to do...now all I have to do is do it.

I did get your e-mail asking about Prayer Mountain - until recently I checked that account infrequently. By the time I googled Prayer Mountain, the info had already been posted here.

As a matter of fact, the Pastor should do something about the two of them being in the same ministry. The meeting should be postponed until the situation is resolved. As far as being friends again, NEVER is to soon....

It isn't her integrity she's worried about. It's her reputation she's worried about.

Her reputation has been tarnished and she actually thinks/hopes that it hasn't been.

Not good.

She needs to make a full confession. As long as she holds her secrets inside her, she'll continue to play out the fantasies in her mind about OM and single life.

If she only knew what was told to him, she could figure out the best strategy for "fixing" this 'coldness' between her and OM.

I'm sure this frustrates her very much. She's left to guessing what was said.

But, as long as she believes that either OM, you, the pastor, and church members are in the dark....or if she believes that she may still be able to pull the wool over your eyes, she will continue to plot and plan.



Of course she does. It's embarrassing.

Is your WW heading up this group? Is she in charge?



This is a big mistake, e5.

Anyway you can arrange to be home that evening?



I hope the pastor will be able to counter what you've done, e5. B/c I'll bet OM will take this as a green light to be friendly w/ your WW again. Especially when he sees the effort she will go to, to be warm and inviting to him in your home.



I just want to echo what others have said here...I PRAY he'll tell OM that it will NEVER be OK to be friends w/ her.

~ Marsh

Tonight's the night.

Sending prayers out your way, e5.

~ Marsh