I'm 23 years old, divorced 10-22-06. I have sole custody of my Toddler.

I need help.

I am really in a mess. I divorced my very abusive husband and I didn't talk to him for 8 months. I have a permanent restraining order and everything...however I started talking to him again in hopes to start a relationship between him and our son again...some how this talking spun into us getting back together and now before I knew it he has weasled his way into living with us again.

I don't want to be in this relationship...but I am willing to stick it out for my son...b/c its not like I am interested in anyone else at the moment.

Basically- I want to know if seems worth it to try and make it work or just "drop the bomb" and leave him again.

I am really desperate and I need some help. I'm starting to get depressed again. Its like the only time I am happy is when he is not around, but I don't want my son to hate me for taking him away from his father.

If he is abusive, then you should leave him. Your child doesn't need to see you get hurt.

I'm sorry that you are going thru a tough time!

"Sticking it out" for the sake of your son with an abusive husband doesn't make much sense to me. If he abuses you then don't think he'd do the same thing to your child?

I'm not sure what to tell you... However, I think you should go see a counselor and try to sort this messy situation out. Take care and good luck!

I highly recommend NOT rebuilding this relationship. It is a falacy to think that you are harming him by not letting him see his father.

You will do your son much more harm by allowing him to witness abuse. He WILL learn the lessons that he watches. He will learn to be abusive because that is what he has seen.

That's how the patterns of behavior get passed down from generation to generation. BREAK THE CYCLE. Don't let him see / learn to abuse.

Remove xH. You can be nice and just ask him or have him removed with the RO. YOUR choice.

DO NOT "stick it out" for you son. You will do your son and yourself a great disservice if you try.

Stay Strong!

I know what I need to do...I just I was just looking for justification to stay..but there is none, except that I am just lazy and scared.

All my friends and family think I'm nuts and tell me to leave. I ignored them for years..I should probably starting listening to them.

I know this isn't exactly the best place to get help...but I just need some input. I don't love him...and well...I am miserable.

I'm 23 years old and I feel like my life is over! *frown*

Get yourself to a women's support group, pronto. They will help you get the strength to do what you need to do.