My wife had an EA for about a year with co-worker. She no longer works that the same job as OM.

My wife has called OMW and told her how sorry she is and how wrong it was. From talking to OMW, my wife and OMW think that OM will call me at some point to tell me sorry.

I kinda don't even want to talk to him at all and I kinda just want to tell him to "move on". No long phone call!!! I don't care about him and his side or how hurt HE is. . I also don't think I want to threaten him, we all know what happened and they have had NC since 8-4-06.

What is the best way to do this to get my point across, but not take too long?

me 36
ww 33
dday 5-8-06
ds5
dd2

thanks
M2L

I probably wouldn't even take his call. I don't think there is any right or wrong way to handle it because it is entirely individual. But you do not have to speak to him AT ALL.

If you do not want to talk to OM at all. Simply change your phone number. The EA is over and you have already stated your position of NC. Make it stick. NC means NC. Your family's involvement with his family is over.

Thank you for your call and your apology. I trust this helps you heal and move forward. Unfortunately, there is nothing that can ever be said that will change the pain and hurt I experienced at my wife's betrayal with you. I wish you and your wife the best, but please never contact me or my wife ever again in any form. This is best for both our marriages and their future. Goodbye.

Thanks Mel and Patience,

I'm leaning that way too. I think I just won't take the call. Heck if OM never tells me sorry, then HE never gets that off his chest and I hope it festers (sp) with him.

Hope in one hand and shiiit in the other and see what fills up faster though.

thanks agian,
M2L

Hope,

this is good too. Now I'm not sure which way I'll go. I'll keep thinking it over and sleep on it. I usually have a better answer when I do that.

Thanks
M2L

(phone rings)

M2L: Hello?

OM: This is OM. I'm sorry -

M2L: Yes, you sure are. *click*

Mulan

Thanks you made me laugh!!

This reminds me of a joke:

What had a small dikk and hangs down? A bat

What has a big dikk and hangs up? click

OM:hello
you:hello
OM:look.....
you:hello
OM:its .......
you:(silence)
OM:are you there?
You:(silence)
OM:hello
You:(silence)


Just a thought concience alone will kill him.Silence will do far more than you could ever probably imagine.

forgiveness though is for your own healing.

Well...

Apologising is the right thing to do..after all he has wronged you...so I'd probably be gracious about it.

You might say something like...I appreciate your apology and I hope that someday I can forgive you.

You: Hello
OM: I wanted to call and apologize
You: Apologize for what
OM: For what I did
You: For what you did to who
OM: You know for having the EA with our FWW.
You: What are you talking about. My W had an A with you>
OM: Yes
You: Call out a womans name different then your FWW and ask her who the ****** is calling admitting to an A with her.
OM: Silence
YOU: Who is this again and where can I hunt you down
OM: I think I have the wrong number
You: I work for the FBI and I will be tracing this number and find out who has been with my W.
OM: Really I was trying to dial 555 1212
You: Sure you were.

Then hang up.

You know noodle, I think if my wife and I work this out then over time I can fully forgive her. The reason is because I have known her for about 12 years, m for 10 years, have two kids together and I love her.

I don't think I will ever be able to forgive the OM because I can't see how any man would do what he did. He was the pursuer (for a long time). This doesn't let my wife off the hook at all mind you. This OM has 4 kids under 8 years old also. I don't care what happens to him as long as it does not involve us. If he calls I will not give him the satisfaction of forgiveness from me. Let him live with the guilt. I may listen to him and not say much then wish his kids and wife well, but thats about it I think.

M2L

Easy. "I don't wish to speak with you, ever." Then hang up with no further explanation.

Thanks Dobie,

Would it be wrong to add "My wife and I never wish to speak to you, ever."

M2L

That's an improvement over mine.

Hi M2L.

Now this is hard for me to offer advice as Squid had a PA not an EA with OM, and I don't know how deep your loathing of OM runs.

In my case OM knows that he starts each new day only with my permission and I am happy that way.

In truth, the reptile has actually been a "perfect" OM - he has been entirely dark since since I exposed and threatened him into NC - quitting all the roles where he might bump into Squid, changing his phone numbers etc etc. Absolutely no communication from him.

So I can hardly summon up the energy to wish him ill anymore. He is becoming as irrelevent as a dog turd I stepped in wearing new boots in 2004. Even the stink is long gone.

My only advice to you is mean spirited I know - do not let him apologise to you. Why give him the opportunity to salve his conscience ? His stinging conscience might just stop him ever having another A.

M2L,

On a serious note now.

I agree with Bob on this. IMVHO it is much to late now for an apology.

Now all it does is give him the oppourtnity to clense his conscience and it will do nothing for you.

Guys,

That is just want I'm thinking. Why give him the satisfaction of feeling a little better about himself. He can live with it forever hanging over his head.

He may never call me. I'm just prepairing thats all. As A BS, I now want to try to prepair for everything it seems.

OM: I just want to say sorry for...
ME: Look me and Mrs M2L have nothing to say to you and we don't ever wish to speak to you again.

Your folks will be proud of your politeness ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Om "I just want to say sorry for..."
ME "Your apology means nothing to me, maggot. If you ever pollute my family's life with your foul presence again I assure you I will make you regret it"

Its just me... I like my OMs scared and deferential...its a fault I admit <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />